Coincidentally Yours
by Captain Shimpy
Summary: Aizawa retreats to his favorite sanctuary to relax and focus before heading off to UA, but a certain green haired trickster has other plans. Shenanigans ensue.
1. Chapter 1

Aizawa settled into the plush chair, taking comfort in the familiar creak of its worn leather frame. Every day, he came to Purrcolatte within a few minutes of opening. Few people, if any, were here at this time of day, and the cats were just alert enough to enjoy a good petting. Just the way he liked it.

As if on cue, a short haired tuxedo cat sauntered up to him, rubbing against his legs a few times before jumping onto his lap. Aizawa winced a little as it kneaded him with its sharp claws, but the pain was of little consequence. Well worth the baritone rumble of its purr and the comforting warmth of its body.

Aizawa chuckled softly."Made yourself at home, have you, Nori?" he said, giving the cat a fond scratch behind the ears that it encouraged with an affectionate rub of its cheek.

Nori was a bit more aloof than the rest, but had apparently sensed a kindred spirit when Aizawa first wandered in several years ago, warming up to the reclusive hero almost immediately. Since then, Nori was always the first to enter and the last to leave. A few minutes later, the other cats emerged from their respective hidey holes. They were a motley bunch: everything from orange tabbies and calicoes to Persians and Maine Coons. Nori spared them a vaguely annoyed glance, but quickly went back to sleep. He was the boss, and they knew better than to question him. They took up their places with the practiced surety of a marching band, some squeezing in around their elder while others plopped down by Aizawa's legs or on nearby perches.

A short older woman wearing a plain brown kimono sauntered out of the back room, her steps every bit as graceful as the animals she cared for. Her steel grey hair was tied back in a bun, held together with polished wooden sticks topped with stylized cat heads. Upon spotting her longtime patron, a warm smile spread across her lips.

"Looks like the gang's all here." she said, reaching down to pat a fat blue russian on the head before turning to bow to Aizawa. "Good to see you as always, Aizawa-sama. Your usual, I trust?"

Aizawa returned the bow, as much as he could without disturbing his furry companions. "That would be lovely, Rumiko-san. Thank you."

With another short bow, Rumiko made her way to a small kitchenette to set a kettle on the stove, then retrieved a clay jar from a nearby shelf and opened the lid. As soon as she did, a pleasant aroma of fruit and flowers swirled about the room. Aizawa sank back with a contented sigh, enjoying the moment. With the combined responsibilities of teacher and hero, he had precious little time to relax. This was the lone sanctuary he afforded himself, a temporary respite in a world that wouldn't shut up. The door opened, and with it came footsteps, but Aizawa ignored it. So intently was he focused on the purring cats, the smell of brewing tea, and the ambient noise of the room itself that he didn't notice the other person's approach until it was too late.

BZZZT!

"Gah!" Aizawa jerked forward with a start, causing Nori to jump down in a huff and some of the other cats to back off slightly or stare curiously at the source of the commotion.

He followed the latter's gaze to see a smiling Emi Fukakado holding up a joy buzzer, nearly doubled over from the force of laughter. "Ahahahahahaha! You should've seen your face, Eraser! It was priceless!"

Aizawa groaned. "What are you doing here, Joke? Besides ruining a perfectly good morning, that is."

Emi giggled at that, slapping Aizawa hard on the back. "Oh, I just love your witty repartee! It's why we're so perfect together!"

"Perfectly mismatched, you mean."

"Hahaha! You're so much fun, Eraser!" she said before flopping into an adjacent chair. "Go out with me?"

"Absolutely not." Aizawa said, looking around the room for Nori. The older cat was sulking on a futon across the room, glaring spitefully. "Now are you going to tell me why you're here, or are you just going to pester me all morning?"

Just then, most of the cats besides Nori approached the newcomer. A few of the bolder ones, a pair of brown and black striped kittens, scaled her legs to take up positions on her lap.

"To bring a little joy into your life!" she gave the kittens an affectionate scratch on their heads before playfully jabbing Aizawa in the ribs. Her efforts were met with a baleful glare from the other hero. "Would you believe it was fate? Like the universe itself called me to your side." she let out a happy sigh, dramatically clasping a hand to her cheek.

A deadpan stare and a raised eyebrow were his only response. Before Emi could attempt to provoke him further, Rumiko came back with a steaming pot of tea and two cups. When she noticed the younger woman, a knowing smile crept across her face.

"Oh ho! So this is the one I've heard so much about. Finally decided to stop lying to yourself, hm?" she cocked her head to one side, setting the tea set down with a chuckle.

Aizawa's cheeks went beet red for a moment, but his expression remained as implacable as ever. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Rumiko broke into a full belly laugh at that. "You're not fooling anyone, Aizawa-san, least of all me." she leaned in to whisper to Emi. "Don't give up, dear. He's a stubborn one, but he'll come around."

"Conspiring with the enemy now, Rumiko-san? I'm hurt." Aizawa poured himself a cup of tea, pausing to savor the complex aroma before taking a tentative first sip.

"A comrade in comedy, you mean!" Emi beamed at Rumiko, who responded in kind. "I'm glad someone around here knows how to laugh!" she said, pinching Aizawa's cheeks. "You could learn a thing or two from her, Eraser!"

Aizawa snorted. "I've learned plenty, thank you." he said before tightly crossing his arms and turning away.

Rumiko just shook her head, bowed once to each hero, then retreated to the back room amidst intermittent bursts of laughter.

Aizawa swore under his breath. And here he'd believed Rumiko was one of the sensible ones. He glowered back at Emi. "I hope you're happy."

Emi flashed him an impish grin as she took a sip from her own cup. "Why, whatever do you mean, Eraser?" she leaned in close, just millimeters away. "Unless you have something to tell me, that is."

"Yes. Goodbye." Aizawa put down a bill on the table and prepared to leave, but was stopped by an indignant meow at his feet. Nori had returned and was gazing up at him expectantly. A defeated sigh escaped Aizawa's lips as he slumped back in his chair. "Et tu, Nori?"

The tuxedo cat simply resumed his place on Aizawa's lap, giving the man a self-satisfied look before settling in once more.

"You know what they say, Eraser." Emi ruffled his hair playfully. "You can't fight destiny."

"Hmph. Destiny is illogical." Aizawa huffed.

"Not everything has to be so cut and dry, Eraser." Emi chided. "Lighten up a little. After all," she pointed at Nori's slumbering form. "It's not like you're going anywhere for awhile."

"Fine. Talk." he said, petting Nori with long, gentle strokes.

An exaggerated pout formed on Emi's lips. "Oh come on, don't be like that. This really was a happy accident, you know. Honest."

"If you say so." Aizawa said, taking another sip of tea.

"I know so, silly." she bopped Aizawa on the nose, earning an annoyed grunt from her fellow hero. "Tell me, what's new with your class? Sounds like they've had their hands full lately. And so have you, by the looks of it."

Aizawa shrugged. "Just a false alarm at the cultural festival. Otherwise it's been business as usual." he scratched Nori's chin, eliciting a powerful purr in response. "I'm sure you've heard all about the incident with Endeavor as well."

Emi's expression turned grave. "Yeah… Never much liked the guy, but that nomu was scary stuff."

Aizawa nodded. "The fact that it was capable of speech was...troubling to say the least. We'll have to be on high alert from now on. Who knows what else the League might be cooking up."

"Speaking of cooking…" a spark of mirth returned to Emi's face, growing more pronounced by the moment. "How bout a night in? I make a mean katsudon."

"Not a-," Aizawa looked over to see that, apart from Nori and the rest of the old guard, most of the cats had congregated around Emi. The younger ones in particular seemed to love her rambunctious demeanor, gleefully batting at or play biting her wiggling fingers. When she noticed his gaze, a genuine smile crossed her face. Not the usual prankster's smirk, but something deeper and more intimate. Aizawa almost smiled back in spite of himself, but was saved-or perhaps betrayed-by his loudly growling stomach.

 _Shit, that does sound good…_

Aizawa took a deep swig of his tea, delaying his response for as long as possible. A quiet dinner in was a surprisingly sensible offer from someone like Emi, and he hadn't had a good meal in weeks. With a heavy sigh and a roll of his eyes, Aizawa answered. "You know what, Joke? You're on."

Emi jerked back in surprise, but quickly recovered, "Hahaha! Good one! You're such a card, Eraser!"

"Emi, I'm serious." he put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her laughter dead in its tracks and turning her cheeks a bright shade of crimson. He'd never called her by her real name before. She sat perfectly still, absentmindedly petting the kittens on her lap as she waited for him to continue. "I mean, it's a logical suggestion after all. So…"

"Well… if you're really serious…" she put a hand on his, leaned in close, and poked him in the forehead with the other. "You've really gotta learn to relax."

The barest hint of a smile stole across his face. "I'll bring the sake."

She smiled broadly, body shaking with laughter. "That's the spirit! Er… a spirit." she winked mischievously.

"Don't push it." he said.

"Oh, I'll save the best for later. You'll see." she replied. Just then, a faint beeping sound drew her attention. She rummaged around in a waist pocket for her cell phone. After quickly scanning the screen, she let out a disappointed groan. "Drat! Where does the time go? Out a window, perhaps?"

Aizawa arched an eyebrow. "Let me guess… late again?"

"Late is a matter of perspective. But…" she grinned sheepishly. "Yes. Duty calls."

"Better get going then." Aizawa said. "I'll cover your bill. Just this once."

"Such a gentleman." Emi made as if to swoon. She carefully sat the kittens down, at which point they immediately took off on a wild zigzag course around the room. As she made her way out, she paused by Aizawa's side, leaning in to give him a short peck on the cheek. "Till later, Shota."

Aizawa watched her leave, almost forgetting where he was until a peal of Rumiko's laughter brought him back to reality.

"Was that really so hard?" she said while collecting the used dishes. "Honestly, Aizawa-san. That girl will be good for you."

"Perhaps." Aizawa checked his own phone with a grimace. "Damn. I'd better get to campus. Those kids have promise, but the thought of leaving them to their own devices makes me nervous." He picked up Nori and carried him over to his favorite perch, petting him all the while. "Sorry, old friend. I'll be back again soon." Nori just yawned in reply, then curled up for a long nap. Aizawa left a few bills on the table, enough to cover everything plus a generous tip. "Thanks as always, Rumiko-san."

Rumiko bowed. "I look forward to your next visit, Aizawa-sama." she began to walk away, but turned back for a moment. "Oh, and… you'd better not break that girl's heart. If you do, I'll know."

"Yeah, yeah. You have my word." Aizawa waved dismissively. "See you tomorrow."

As he walked out the door and into the crisp morning air, a nagging thought tugged at his mind.

 _What the hell have I gotten myself into?_


	2. Chapter 2

One look at the riotous clash of bright colors, odd angles, and tasteless lawn ornaments was all it took for Aizawa to know he had found the place. With a resigned groan, he shuffled up the steps to the front door and rang its clown nose bell. A cold stream of water and a loud AHWOOGA had him spitting, sputtering, and holding onto his bottle of Junmei for dear life.

"I sea my new toy made quite a splash!" she said, laughing at her own punchline.

Aizawa rubbed his eyes, ready to unleash his most withering glare. Instead, he felt his face heat up and his heart skip a beat. He'd tried so hard to wave her off as just another co-worker/occasional teammate, to pretend that she and the uniform were one and the same, that he was unprepared for Emi the person. Now, with all pretense stripped away, Aizawa could no longer ignore the nagging thought in the back of his mind: she was stunning.

Before he could truly zone out, however, Emi's cheery voice returned him to the present moment.

"Water you waiting for, silly? A drop of rain?" she elbowed him a few times in the ribs. "Eh? Eh?"

Aizawa sighed. "You almost made me drop this, you know." he tapped the bottle for emphasis. "That trap of yours is a safety hazard."

"Such a worrywart!" she giggled. "But don't worry. After tonight, you'll learn to laugh with the best of them!"

"Uh huh."Aizawa mumbled. "Just show me where to put this, will you?"

"So quick! I love it!" she said, snatching the bottle and gesturing through the open doorway with an exaggerated flourish. "After you, my dear."

Aizawa obliged with a groan and trudged onward, glancing idly around the house as he went.

The inside was just as ridiculous and illogical as the outside. Every room was painted a different color, with no apparent rhyme or reason for each choice. The walls were a mishmash of random decor, like one of those tacky American restaurants Toshinori seemed to love so much. He almost tripped over some unidentified knick knack on the floor, but felt Emi's hands around his shoulders.

"Don't worry, Shouta," she said in what sounded like a bad attempt at All Might, "No devilish detritus will hurt you while I'm around."

"It'd be better if you just cleaned once in a while," Aizawa grumbled, shaking free of her grip to stoop down and get a better look at the offending object: a multicolored ball of some sort. He picked it up and tossed it idly in one hand. "The hell is this lying around for anyway?"

Emi just laughed and shook her head, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Why, that's my idea ball, of course! Whenever I get stuck on something, I toss it against the wall until inspiration strikes. Works every time!"

Aizawa only groaned and lumbered into the kitchen, setting the bottle down at last. It was safe-for now. If only he could say the same for himself. But he was nothing if not a man of his word, and barring some unforeseen calamity that went far beyond her usual antics, he would see this through to the end.

He surveyed the kitchen area and breathed a sigh of relief. This, at least, was logical. Familiar, even. Everything in its proper place, relatively clean. Still looked like the sordid aftermath of a drunken clown bender, but he'd take what he could get. There was just one problem.

"Emi," he said, completely deadpan. "You forgot to buy the food, didn't you?"

She stepped around him and skipped her way to the fridge. "Oh, don't be silly. I would never do a thing like-." she opened the door and rummaged around, various dishes clinking and clanking as if indignant at the disturbance, then cut herself off. "Oh…. well, there's a first time for everything, I suppose." she dug deeper, tossing things about with reckless abandon.

"What are you- oy, stop that!" Aizawa cried, snatching a few very breakable looking containers out of the air and gingerly setting them aside. "It's exactly this sort of brazenness that-"

"Aha! You thought you could hide from me, huh?" she let loose with the most over the top villain cackle Aizawa had ever heard, and that was saying something. "Foolish noodles! There is no escape for you, or your tasty vegetable friends! And what's this? Tofu? No mercy! Mwahaha!"

"Is that stuff even edible?" Aizawa raised an eyebrow. "The way you were digging, I bet you could carbon date it."

"Ahhahahaha! What's dinner without a little mystery?" she looked back with a mischievous grin. "And I'll have you know, I'm pretty sure I bought all this last week. Or was it last month?"

Aizawa growled, putting a hand to his forehead.

"Ah! Definitely last week. I know because I wrote it down right here. See?" she held up a bag of assorted, seemingly intact vegetables, pointing to an incomprehensible smudge of marker at the bottom. "Crisis averted."

"Uh… you can read that?"

"Duh! I know my own shorthand. Things will be juuuust fine." she tossed the veggies along with a few packets of soba noodles, towards Aizawa, who caught them with ease. "After all, I have you here to help me, don't I?" she gave him a wink.

"I suppose this still falls within the bounds of sensibility. Barely. All right, where do you keep the pots and pans?"

"Yay! I always knew you could roll with the punches." she threw a few mock blows for good measure. Aizawa stared blankly, hands on his hips. "Fine, mr. spoilsport. Take all the fun out of it, why don't you?" she pointed to a nearby bottom drawer, lips pursed in an exaggerated pout.

Aizawa rolled his eyes and got to work, pulling out the necessary accoutrements and placing them in a neat stack on the stovetop. He was like a machine, automatic and efficient, with no wasted movement. By the time Emi started to move, Aizawa had everything set up and ready to go, looking at her with barely disguised impatience.

"Well?" he stared at her with arched eyebrow, impatiently tapping his foot on the floor. "If we're going to do this, let's get started already."

Emi stared vacantly back, trying to process this new side of him, then threw back her head and laughed. "You are just full of surprises tonight! I love it!" she wrapped him in a brief but tight embrace."You wrangle those noodles, I'll tackle the tofu, and we'll both vanquish those veggies. Sound fair?"

Aizawa grumbled something unintelligible, but nodded assent, barely shrinking away from the sudden contact. The two of them got to their respective tasks-Aizawa boiling water for the soba while Emi began cutting the tofu-and the jaunty green haired pro couldn't help but smile a full, contented smile. In the field, Aizawa was grim and focused, a serious professional who cared only for a job well done. There were still shades of that here, but his manner and movements betrayed the faintest gleam of happiness beneath the surface. However things went, if Emi could just bring that to the fore, make him let loose and relax for once, she would consider the night a success.

"Emi?"

"Yeeeeesss?" she leaned in close, batting her eyes.

"I need the tofu."

"Oh, right. Hehehe." she pushed the stack of neatly cut cubes over. He took the board and slid its contents into the pot, then motioned for vegetables. Emi handed him a bag of shiitake mushrooms and laid out some carrots on her own cutting board. She was no slouch in the kitchen, but found herself dramatically outpaced by Aizawa's deliberate, focused strikes. "Wow, Shota. I knew you were sharp, but this is a cut above!"

Aizawa merely shrugged and kept chopping."Parents worked a lot. I was an only child. Lots of practice time."

"Must've been lonely. Poor thing." she said. "At least you had friends, right?"

"Friends are a distraction. Time is more logically spent elsewhere." his eyes snapped to the pot, then back to her. "Water's boiling. You done with the carrots?"

"Yeah, yeah. But what about Mic? You guys are like two peas in a p-oh!" she yelped as Aizawa's arm shot out to scoop up her freshly chopped carrots up and toss them in the pot.

"Just a colleague. An especially noisy, obnoxious one," he gave her a pointed glance. "But that's it."

"Oh…" she said, turning away to empty the last of her motley bag of vegetables-a few stalks of kale, a clump of beets, and a miserable little red pepper-onto the cutting board. She turned to a nearby cupboard, hoping to scare up some dashi, but her nose informed her that Aizawa had beaten her to it. The second she turned back to the veggies, they were gone, in a neat little pile by Aizawa's side where they were quickly being cut down to size. With a huff, she smacked him on the back of the head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Aizawa put down the knife and rubbed his head, a bewildered look on his face.

"We're supposed to be a team, dummy. You don't have to do everything yourself."

Aizawa cocked his head to one side. "It's more efficient this way."

"That's not the point! That is," she indicated his knife, now lying idle amidst the dismembered remains of its victims. At his blank expression, she grew flustered."You know what I mean!"

"Uh huh." he said. "Now move. You're in the way."

"You really need to lighten up, you know?." she closed the distance between them and set one hand on his cheek, putting the other around his knife arm.

Aizawa made a noncommittal sound. "Tried that once. Didn't take. Too irrational."

Emi let out an exasperated growl. "I'm serious! You work so hard, give so much of yourself, for your students as well as the people you save. It's what I admire about you, Shota." his expression had softened, almost imperceptibly, into bemused uncertainty. "But that's also your biggest weakness. You don't know when to stop. Or even how." she tugged him closer, making sure his eyes were on hers. "I don't know what made you decide to take me up on this, but…. I just want you to have a little fun. That's all. If not for me, then for yourself. Please?"

"I…" Aizawa's eyes darted this way and that, looking for an escape. A distraction. Anything to get away from...this. Whatever this was. He'd never seen this side of her before-soft and restrained, warm and empathetic-and it jarred him. Villains, troublesome students, the opportunistic press… those were easy. He could confront them, neutralize them. But this... intangible, abstract. Irrational. The kind of foe he couldn't face. Not directly. His hands, normally steady and sure, began to tremble. His head swam, and for the first time in a long time, he felt lost.

Emi frowned, eyes wide with concern. "Shota, what's wrong? Is there something I-"

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" he cried, wrenching free of her grip and turning away. "This is all I know. It's all I've ever known." he stomped a short distance away, taking a great shuddering breath as his whole body began to shake. "All my life, I've wanted to be a hero. Not a goddamn celebrity like All Might. Someone who does the right thing for its own sake and nothing more. That means sacrifice. Every moment of every day." slowly, he looked over his shoulder, a pained expression on his face. "So how am I supposed to just… turn that off? I can't do that, Emi. I won't." Tears welled up in his eyes, but he fought them down for the moment, trying desperately to maintain control.

Emi shook her head and sighed, lips sagging into a genuine frown as her own tears began to fall. "Do you really think it's all on you?" Aizawa didn't move, only stared numbly as she approached with slow and deliberate steps. "Don't you realize how selfish, how arrogant that sounds? How dismissive you're being of everyone else?"

"I wasn't trying to-"

"What? Not trying to act like the weight of the world rests squarely on your shoulders? Not trying to pretend that there aren't plenty of other kind, capable heroes out there to share the load and step up when you need help? Yes, some of them are noisy and obnoxious, or puff their chests out a little too much, or generally aren't perfect. But when it comes down to it, they save the day. They make the sacrifice. Just like you. Like us." she was very close now, enough to see the individual beads of sweat on his face and the fear and doubt warring in his eyes. "What I'm trying to say is… you don't have to be 'on' all the time. Our job is hard, so we have to take what little moments of joy and happiness we can. I was just hoping that maybe, just maybe… you could share this one with me."

For one long, lingering moment, the two heroes simply stood there in silence. Emi's heart pounded in her chest, urgently and forcefully, as she braced herself for what she feared was coming. She even started to back off slightly, edging away to give him some space, but the raven haired man held her fast by the waist and guided her back towards him. "Don't let go. Please." The whisper of a smile formed on his lips, in stark contrast with the now freely flowing tears on his face. "I don't want to be anywhere else right now."

Emi beamed, tears pouring full force as she pulled Aizawa in for a kiss. She sighed happily at his surprisingly eager response, running her hands through his slender black locks. They might have remained so for some time, if not for the sudden, jarring intrusion of water boiling over the pot.

"Shit!" Aizawa cried, twisting around so that he could shove the pot off the burner. But his knee jerk reflex was stronger than expected. The pot slid off the stovetop-and clanged to the floor. Emi cried out in surprise as Aizawa lifted her off her feet, just before the mess of boiling water and foodstuffs hit the ground with a hissing splash. Aizawa smiled sheepishly, cheeks crimson as he stared down at the ruined meal. "Well… I guess we're tied, huh?"

Emi snorted, giggled, then broke into a rollicking belly laugh that had her doubled over. To her amazement, Aizawa joined in, albeit in more restrained fashion. After what felt like ages, the laughter died down, and the two heroes found themselves lost in each other's eyes once more. A few moments later, Emi took Aizawa's hands in hers and flashed him a roguish smile. "That's all right. I think I'm hungry for something more... substantial."

The corners of Aizawa's mouth lifted ever so slightly in understanding, and he allowed the green haired harlequin to lead him to the bedroom, sparing one last glance for the waterlogged mess behind them. He shrugged, a wry smile on his lips. It was just as well. He wasn't much for soba anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

[Author's note: When I first posted this story, I gave it a few days-maybe a week-before it vanished into obscurity. Clearly I was mistaken. You guys are a supremely dedicated bunch, so I'm turning this one shot into a full fledged project. Not quite sure how long it's ultimately going to be, but definitely a good several more chapters at least. With that, I thank you for reading and hope you enjoy it. Toodles! -Captain Shimpy]

Beneath the buzzing fluorescent lights and the softly whooshing vents, Aizawa was busy grading papers. Other teachers hated this stuff, but not him. Between the competing stressors of teaching and pro-hero work, he needed something boring to decompress.

Yet it wasn't without frustration. Bakugo practically gouged the characters into his papers and Midoriya's flurry of notes made it hard to tell where the actual work was. But they were rising stars; until that changed, Aizawa didn't care.

Others, like Ashido and Hagakure, seemed determined to break him. Noisy, flighty, and they wouldn't stop using those damned glitter pens! Aizawa prepared to launch into a scathing critique, but stopped short. A deep-seated longing stayed his hand.

Aizawa shook his head, muttering curses under his breath. It had seemed perfectly logical at the time. A home cooked meal, some polite conversation, then back home for some much needed rest. So much for best laid plans.

Now... he didn't know what to do. Distractions were useless. He couldn't get her out of his head. And there was nothing he could do about it.

As if on cue, his phone buzzed from the drawer where he'd stashed it. Grumbling to himself, he checked the message. Thankfully, it was nothing. Just a faculty reminder about an inter-school meeting to discuss a proposed joint exercise. A logical notion, if a bit of a hassle.

He made to put the phone away, but it remained in his hand. He willed himself to set it aside, but... he couldn't. Instead, he scrolled through his contacts until he found her name. Fukukado Emi... hero alias: Ms. Joke. Aizawa sat paralyzed, eyes fixed on the screen, for what felt like hours. His thumbs hovered over the text keys but did not touch.

What could he say to her? She was so thick-headed that any explanation he offered would only be seen as encouragement. Still, he had to try.

With a deep breath, he typed out the start of a message. Yet every attempt was invariably stymied. He would begin to make progress only to get frustrated and start over. So deeply was he immersed in this cycle of repetition that he failed to notice the sound of footsteps growing ever closer, until...

"Aw, were you thinking of me? You're such a sweetheart!"

Aizawa flew from his chair with a startled yelp, reflexively throwing his binding cloth. When he saw who he'd captured, he just groaned.

Emi Fukakado giggled. "Bondage play at work, huh?" she wiggled her eyebrows. "I thought I was the bold one."

Shaking his head, Aizawa undid the cloth from around the harlequin's waist. "Don't you have your own school to attend to?".

Emi swatted the air. "Bah! Pesky paperwork. Besides, I'm here for the meeting, remember?"

"Uh huh..." he raised an eyebrow. "Seems like awfully convenient timing if you ask-"

Just then, the door swung open once more, this time to reveal the diminutive form of Principal Nezu. He walked towards them at a crisp yet leisurely pace, smiling from ear to ear as he carried a stack of folders.

"Oh, Ms. Joke!" Nezu nodded to her and set his cargo down. "I'm glad you could make it! We're almost ready to begin. Shouldn't be more than a few minutes at most."

"Absolutely!" Emi said, giving a thumbs up. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Nezu beamed at that. "Great! I assume you've no objections, Eraser-san?"

"I...um..." Aizawa fumbled over his words, unable to process this most illogical turn of events. Nezu was more trustworthy than most humans. Yet here he was, colluding with the enemy. Still, Aizawa couldn't let on that he'd been rattled. Best play along for now. "No objections, Principal. We'll be there promptly."

"That's the spirit!" Nezu chirped. "See you soon!"

With a jaunty wave, he quickly vanished behind the closing door.

Aizawa sat hunched over, face buried in his hands. Meeting were unpleasant by design, but bearable if taken seriously. But Emi couldn't go for more than five seconds without doing something...ridiculous. This was going to be an ordeal.

"Cheer up, Mr. Grumpy-Pants!" she slapped him on the back. "Boredom is forbidden when I'm around!"

"That's what I'm afraid of..." Aizawa muttered. He looked up to meet her gaze and stopped. She was smiling at him, the same way she did that night. His cheeks flared crimson. Damned sentiment. He was better than this. No matter, though. There'd be time enough for that later. "Level with me, Emi. There's no meeting, is there?"

Emi gasped, palming her cheeks for effect. "Why, Shouta! I can't believe you! Don't you trust me at all?"

"Not as far as I can throw you."

Emi laughed, long and loud. She banged the desk hard enough to rattle the half-filled coffee cup on the side. "Oh how I've missed that dry wit of yours!" she wiped a tear from one eye. "But really. Why would I lie about this, of all things? You know how much I've wanted to do a joint exercise with you."

"Is that what you call it? Your euphemisms need work."

Emi growled in consternation. "I'm serious!" a brief pause, then a wink. "This time."

Aizawa remained stone faced. "Fine. But why are you really here?"

"Dammit, I...!" a few tears streamed down her cheeks. "I've missed you. Stubborn bastard." she scooted closer and put a tentative hand on his arm. "I mean, we've both been so busy since then, and... I wanted to see you again, even if it's just business."

Aizawa's expression softened just a little. "Emi..." he gently brushed a hand across her face. "Look, I... you know I'm no good at this sort of thing. Besides, it was just one night. I just assumed you'd...find someone else."

"Excuse me?" her expression shifted, the humor gone from her voice.

Aizawa was taken aback. He'd never seen this side of her before. "Well, that is, you..." he checked his watch. "Oh, look at the time! Don't you think we should-"

"Shut up." she cut him off icily. "The meeting can wait. We need to talk."

"Now?!"

"Now."

"This is... highly illogical. You know that, right?"

"Stop deflecting. I'm going to speak and you're going to listen. Got it?"

"..."

"That's better. Now," she leaned in, close enough for the faint scent of perfume to fill his nostrils. Aizawa tensed, bracing for impact. Instead, she pulled him in for a kiss.

Aizawa cried out in surprise, the sound muffled by the soft touch of her lips on his. A short time later he regained his composure and broke away.

"Bahahahaha!" Emi was doubled over, body shaking with laughter. "The look... on your... face!" she spoke between gasps "Priceless!"

"You-" He glared at her, cheeks flushed. "This was all a ruse?!"

"Not just a ruse!" she squeezed him tightly, much to his annoyance. "This was a test!"

"A...test?" Aizawa wriggled mightily, but it was no use; Emi was surprisingly strong.

"Yes, silly! And you passed!"

"Wha..?!" He glowered at her, eyes flaring. "You're crazy!"

"Like a fox." she smiled and batted her eyes. "I knew you didn't want to let me go so easily. I just had to confirm it."

"Gah!" he finally broke her grip, then sprinted for the nearest exit... only to find himself held in place once more. He glared back to see Emi holding his binding cloth in one hand, giggling like a loon.

"Looks like you need to be taut a lesson!" she grinned impishly. "One that really tugs at your heartstrings!"

"Quit horsing around, Emi! We're going to be late!"

She shook her head. "Nezu and I have an agreement. He'll wait."

"I knew it! You WERE in cahoots!" He planted his feet, scrabbling for purchase on the slick tile as Emi slowly reeled him in.

"Oh yes. He's such a dear, your principal. When I told him what I had in mind, he practically jumped at the chance to help!"

"Why that little-Ack!"

Emi yanked hard on the cloth, sending him spinning and wobbling towards her. She caught him before he could fall, using his momentum to steer him onto the desk. He tried to respond, but she pecked him on the lips.

"You mean you never considered that your soft-haired principal might be a softie at heart?"

"I..." he stopped, realizing she had a point."That's...fair."

"I thought you'd see things my way." she booped his nose. "After all, nobody nose you like I do."

"You want another date." Aizawa growled. "Don't you?"

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner, folks!" she held up his arm and gazed about the room, hamming it up for an imaginary audience.

Aizawa pulled away and crossed his arms. "Fine. You win." a huge grin split across her face. "But-on one condition."

She sat back down and mimicked his stance. "Name it."

"You..." Aizawa grinned wickedly. "Have to make it through the entire meeting without telling a single joke!"

"Ha! Piece of cake!" she licked her lips. "Or maybe some pie..."

"And..." he held up a finger. "That includes puns."

Emi pouted. "Oh, now you're just stacking the deck! But don't you worry," she ruffled his hair. "I've always got an ace in the hole."

Aizawa shook his head and stood up, offering a hand as he did. "You're hopeless."

Emi gripped hard and pulled herself up. "Perhaps." she gave his ass a quick squeeze. "That's why I have you."

"Y-" he sighed, thinking better of it. "Let's just get this over with, ok?"

"Fine by me, cutie." she kissed his check. "Shall we?"

As they left the room, Aizawa thought he heard a faint trickle of laughter from the opposite entrance. Peering closer, he saw a pair of black and gold eyes beneath a shock of pink hair.

"Dammit Ashido, I thought I told you to go back to your dorm!"

The pink-skinned girl raced away and out of sight, giggling all the while.

"I swear, if those kids spent half the energy studying that they do-" he looked over to see Emi snickering into one hand as she waved with the other. "What the hell is so funny?"

"Oh, nothing." she said in a sing-song voice. "C'mon, Mr. Sour Puss. Let's go do our jobs for a change."

Aizawa reluctantly followed her lead, fuming under his breath all the while. But as they neared the ascending stairway, Emi flashed a thumbs up behind her back, smiling at the resulting chorus of girlish squeals.


	4. Chapter 4

Nezu smiled politely as Ms. Joke led Eraserhead into the meeting room by his binding cloth.

"Apologies for the slight delay, everyone." Emi said, grinning sheepishly. "We got a bit... lost."

Midnight and Present Mic looked on with barely concealed amusement, while Ectoplasm shook his head disapprovingly.

"Oh, that's quite all right. These things happen!" Nezu smiled sheepishly. "What matters is that everyone's here, so we can begin!" He hopped onto the table, pulled a remote from his front breast pocket, and turned on the projector. The screen lit up to reveal, in large bold lettering: "The UA/Ketsubutsu Joint Festival-A Show of Unity in Troubled Times", superimposed over the two schools' logos.

Aizawa rolled his eyes. Nezu had a penchant for Pollyanna-ism, but he had to give it to the little pipsqueak this time. A joint festival would distract from the recent uptick in villain activity and demonstrate the next generation's readiness to meet that threat. A perfectly logical ruse.

While Nezu passed out thickly stuffed manilla folders stamped with "Plus Ultra!", Aizawa studied his opponent. She was perfectly still, going over each document and taking brief notes in the margins. Her expression was calm and focused-a model professional.

Aizawa smirked. Emi could no more resist a comedic opportunity than he could turn down a power nap. Victory was assured.

Nezu brought up the next slide, an overview of the recent villain attacks and their impact on public perception of heroes. Aizawa tried to focus, but his mind was elsewhere, poised to strike the moment Emi slipped up.

Thankfully, he wasn't the only one who was a little distracted. Midnight was constantly on the verge of slumber and Present Mic kept fidgeting in his seat. Only Emi was paying attention.

 _Biding your time until the right moment, eh? A clever ploy, but not good enough!_

Emi looked at him for a second, shrugged, and resumed watching the projector screen. Aizawa grimaced. This was the most poised he had seen her since...ever.

But she was doomed to fail; the only thing Nezu loved more than lecturing was a rousing group discussion. One way or another, she'd have to speak up. And then she'd be finished.

Sure enough, Nezu stayed true to form. "...and that's why we must use this time of crisis to demonstrate our shared commitment to hero education and assure everyone that the future is in good hands." he took his place at the head of the table with a satisfied smile. "This won't be easy to pull off, but I know that we can make this effort a success. So," he turned off the screen and retracted the projector. "Who'd like to start?"

The UA teachers eyed each other warily, hoping to goad someone else into volunteering first. No one moved.

"Come on now, don't be shy." Nezu said. "There's no bad ideas here. Only steps on the way to greatness!"

Aizawa sighed. It was smart to go first; a well placed trap could wrap this up before lunchtime. He scooted back in his chair and stood up.

"Ah, Eraser-san! What a pleasant surprise!" Nezu said. "By all means, the floor is yours."

Aizawa nodded. _Showtime!_

"Thank you, principal Nezu." he shuffled the papers in his hand, using those few precious seconds to gather his thoughts. Emi was clearly taking great pains to resist her normal inclinations, but he knew her weaknesses. He just had to apply the right amount of pressure. "UA's sports festival is a major event, one that attracts influential people from all over the world. But it's missing one important thing."

He waited a beat, then two, but no one spoke up. Everyone, including Emi, waited patiently for him to continue.

 _Heh. A brave front, but it won't last!_

"Ahem. Er, that is, the element of surprise."

The other UA teachers murmurd amongst themselves. Midnight raised a hand.

"I think we've all had enough surprises after last year."

The others chuckled at that. That is, except Emi. She just sat there and flashed a supportive smile.

Aizawa ducked his head to hide the rising blush on his cheeks. This was no time for distractions. He had to press on. "Fair point, but I have something more logical in mind." He fished around in his pocket, producing his secret weapon: a pair of colorful bouncy balls.

Ectoplasm cut through the gaggle of confused murmurs and said, "Forgive my skepticism, Eraser-sensei, but...what are those toys for?"

"To kick this meeting up a notch! YEEAAAAAH!" Present Mic jumped out of his seat, landing hard enough to send his chair skidding backwards before slamming into the wall. He grinned sheepishly as he picked himself up, keenly aware of the others' stares. "Eh heh. I mean, uh, care to enlighten us, Eraser man?"

Aizawa forced himself not to grin. Mic had a way of causing trouble at inopportune moments, but this was too perfect. Emi was going to have a field day, and he would have peace and quiet once again.

To his surprise, she refused to take the bait, smiling good-naturedly as she helped Present Mic put his chair back in place, exchanging a few hushed words with him before returning to her seat.

 _Damn! All right, time for phase two._

"Ahem... moving right along." Aizawa held up the balls so that everyone could see. "Think of these as our respective schools." He bounced them simultaneously in a steady rhythm. "Barring unforeseen circumstances, our sports festivals are like this. Steady, predictable outcomes. But when you introduce an element of chaos..." Without warning, he hurled them as hard as he could in different directions. The rubber missiles careened about the room, earning a mix of startled yelps and (from Mic and Nezu) childish giggles. Emi, however, remained stoic.

"I think I see where you're going, Eraser." she caught the balls in midair and began casually juggling them. "But you forgot the most important thing."

 _This is it! The mortal blow!_

"Oh?"

She tucked them away with a flourish, bowing slightly at the others' polite applause. "The fun, of course!"

 _Tch... She's tough. But I can't give up now!_

"Why, whatever do you mean, Ms. Joke?"

"Well..." she reproduced the balls seemingly from nowhere and laid them gently on the table. "You just want a bigger, louder version of what our schools normally do independently. That's just applying more pressure." She grabbed one of the balls and started squeezing it. "And when that gets to be too much..." The ball squirted free, narrowly missing Aizawa's head as it sped through the air. "You have unexpected problems."

Aizawa glared, readjusting his binding cloth. She was turning this into a performance without even breaking a sweat. Best to retreat for now and counterpunch later.

"A fair point, Ms. Joke. I'm eager to see what suggestions you might have, assuming no one else has any objections."

No one did, so Aizawa sat back down as Emi took his place.

"Such a gentleman. Give him a hand, folks!" the others immediately obliged, much to Aizawa's annoyance. "I'll cut to the chase. Gotta leave some time for hero work, after all." A light round of laughter peppered the room.

Aizawa growled, more frustrated by Emi's ability to skirt or bend the rules without technically breaking them than by the remark itself. If he was going to have any chance of salvaging this, he'd have to time his strike perfectly.

Emi bowed slightly. "It takes a lot to become a hero. Hard work, dedication, and a whole lotta heart." she winked at Aizawa, who faked a cough to hide his embarrassment. "Our two schools are united in the desire to make sure these kids can handle that burden when the time comes. Sometimes, though, we push them a little too hard." From a hidden pocket, she withdrew a handful of plastic spoons and arranged them in a row before her.

 _Now!_

He moved his chair just so, creating enough noise to interrupt the presentation and put all eyes on him. With a shit-eating grin, he struck. "What's with the spoons, Joke? Trying to stir up trouble?"

The room went dead silent. A paperclip hit the floor, and everyone jumped. Emi shook her head, sighed a long suffering sigh, and gave Aizawa the most disappointed look she could muster. In a deadpan voice, she said, "That was pretty lame, Eraser. Even for you."

"OHHHHH!" Present Mic stood up and splayed his arms out like a hip-hop artist. "You just got DENIED, Eraser-man!"

The others took that as permission to burst into full-throated laughter. Even Ectoplasm was joining in, nearly drowning out the others with his boisterous baritone. Nezu had fallen out of his chair, rolling on the floor and cackling like a loon.

Aizawa's cheeks went beet red. His first instinct was to hide, to flee the room and find a secluded spot to lick his wounds and accept his fate. And yet... his mouth curled into a smile as the first quiet giggles escaped his throat. He tried to hold on, but that only delayed the inevitable. Soon, he was busting a gut along with everyone else.

 _Dammit all! How could I fall for such an obvious ploy? And why don't I care?_

When at last the jubilance died down and everyone recovered, Emi picked up right where she'd left off. "Spoons are precious. You only have so many per day to..."

"Excellent job, Ms. Joke! I'm so glad you decided to join us today."

"My pleasure, Nezu! This is going to be so much fun!"

Nezu nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yes!" When his eyes caught the black and gray lump in the far corner of the room, his brow furrowed with concern. "Has Eraser-san fallen ill? Perhaps I should fetch Recovery G-"

"Oh, he's fine!" she waved a hand dismissively. "He's just being a sore loser."

"Ah! I'll leave it to you, then. Just remember to turn off the lights and lock up before you go!" He said, the last phrase a lilting sing-song that echoed down the halls as he left.

Once the door clicked shut, Emi walked over to sit beside the sulking hero, throwing an arm around his shoulders and planting a kiss on his cheek. "Come on, Shouta! You should be celebrating!"

"..."

She grabbed the chair and spun it around. Aizawa put up no resistance, glowering as his eyes met hers.

"Oh come on, Mr. Grumpy Puss. You never stood a chance and you know it."

"Hmph."

"Let me put in Eraser-speak, then." she stood up and adopted her best Aizawa face, speaking in a rough facsimile of his voice. "Fighting a villain on their own terms is a recipe for disaster."

He snickered.

"There you are!" Emi gave him a tight hug. "Now let me see that smile."

"No."

"Come on..."

"Never."

"Suit yourself." she skipped across the room, humming all the while, and locked the door.

Aizawa's eyes widened. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Uh-uh-uh!" she wagged a finger. "Not until you cheer up!"

"Ugh..." he rose zombie-like from his seat and shambled towards her. "You know I have paperwork to do..."

"You should've thought of that before you decided to pout." she said, sticking her tongue out at him.

A wry half-smile stole across his face. "All right, then. You asked for it." With blinding speed, he whipped the binding cloth towards Emi and reeled her in for a deep, passionate kiss.

Emi's yelp of surprise became a moan of pleasure as she returned the favor in kind. At last she pulled away, cheeks flushed. "Hey, no fair!" she said with a scowl.

Aizawa grinned impishly. "Who said anything about fighting fair?"

"Oh, so that's how you want it..." she purred, tracing a finger up and down his chest.

Aizawa shivered at the touch, looking around furtively. "Emi, not he-ahh!" a trail of kisses down his neck destroyed all semblance of rational thought. He glanced at the clock, then down the hall. No one in sight.

 _Little rat must've been in on this too. Or maybe he's just that naive. Either way... I guess it can't be helped._

A few seconds and a flick of the wrist later, Aizawa carried the giggling Emi Fukakado towards the dimly lit meeting room table.


	5. Chapter 5

Aizawa was seeing stars. Countless sparkling dots, each more beautiful than the last. He wanted to reach out and touch them, to be utterly lost in their-

"Um...Shouta?"

"Eh?! Whatsat?"

"I'm flattered that you're so taken with me, but could you be a dear and zip me up? We don't want to be late."

"O-oh...right." Aizawa obliged, sweat pouring down his rapidly warming cheeks. He couldn't believe it. Emi was winning without even trying. It just wasn't fair. Still, he was lucky. She could have humiliated him; instead, she let him pick the date.

When he asked why, she just smacked him on the ass and laughed. He nearly fainted on the spot.

He was rescued from his thoughts by the emergence of Suntory Hall, rising from the dark like some mysterious ancient monolith. He wove through the parking lot until he spotted a sign with Nezu's smiling face, the words "Enjoy the music-and each other!" painted beneath it. Aizawa groaned. No amount of outward humility could mask the principal's theatrical flair.

He made his way to the passenger side, reached for the handle, and-wham! The ground rose up to meet him.

"Oh Shouta," Emi sighed. "I knew you'd fall for me!"

."Attacking a helpless opponent…" He winced as he stood, brushing off flecks of asphalt from his clothes. "That's downright villainous."

"Don't be silly," she smiled playfully. "A real villain would give you a raspberry."

They walked arm in arm towards the entrance, enjoying the cool evening breeze on their skin. A gaggle of reporters blocked the path, chattering excitedly over the flash and whine of cameras.

Aizawa swore under his breath. The press were like seagulls, always begging for scraps. Nothing to do but run the blockade. He was about to say as much when Emi put two fingers to her mouth and whistled.

 _Dammit!_

In moments, they were surrounded. Luckily for him, she was an excellent distraction, cracking jokes and hamming it up. He quickly retreated to the relative safety of a dimly lit corner to watch the spectacle unfold.

Aizawa hated playing celebrity, but Emi did it as naturally as breathing. She played to the crowd in a way that made everyone feel special, treating their queries with good humor and aplomb. No wonder she was so popular.

Before he could start ruminating, he felt and smelled the smiling hero's presence as she squeezed him like an accordion.

"Hey there, grouchy!" she kissed him on the cheek. "Miss me?"

"Like a bad cold."

"So quick! I love it!" she jabbed him in the ribs a few times.

"Uh huh." he rolled his eyes. "We could've just slipped past them, you know."

"Oh Shouta," she shook her head. "My routine isn't gonna practice itself."

"As if the world didn't have enough problems already."

"Bahahaha!" she slapped him hard on the back. "Come on, silly. Let's go warm up by the warm up."

"Ugh..." Aizawa followed her inside, rubbing his temples all the way. "This is going to be a long night."

"Ooh! A box-in-a-box!" Emi giggled, eyes darting all around.

Aizawa ignored her and sat down. Classical music had always been his favorite. Logical structures, predictable patterns, conclusive resolutions... it was all so sensible. He was just starting to relax when Emi started poking him hard in the shoulder.

"What now?"

With a mischievous grin, she produced a pair of hollow plastic tubes and a handful of construction paper balls from her purse.

"No."

"Aw, c'mon!"

"Absolutely not."

"First one to make a basket wins!"

"What on earth...?"

"That!" she pointed towards the brass section.

"Emi..." Aizawa buried his face in his hands. "That's a tuba."

She cocked her head. "A tuba what?"

"Just a tuba."

"Tuba toothpaste?"

"Dammit, I-" He sighed. "Fine. Do whatever you want. I don't care anymore."

"Shouta..." she laid a hand on his back, her expression worried. "Is something wrong?"

"I just..." he took a deep breath to compose himself. "This is more than just a diversion for me," his expression was soft, almost pained. "It's a refuge. And when you make light of it that way, I feel like..." he turned away, refusing to meet her gaze.

"Like what?" she whispered.

"...like I don't matter."

Emi held him close, murmuring reassurances as her eyes welled up with tears. "I'm sorry... I didn't realize. Honest."

"Mrph..." Aizawa's words vanished into her soft black dress.

"Mmm..." she smiled, running her fingers through his curly raven hair. "I love you, too."

Aizawa bolted upright. "Wait a minute, that's not what I-"

The lights went dark. A spotlight shone on a familiar diminutive frame.

 _Oh no..._

Nezu emerged to thunderous applause, smiling and bowing to the crowd as he walked on stage, wearing a garish blue and red tux with yellow pinstripes. Aizawa couldn't believe his eyes. Or maybe he could, but just didn't want to. Emi, shaking with stifled laughter, had no such problems. The rest of the audience reacted similarly, chuckling to themselves and exchanging lighthearted banter.

 _Has everyone gone mad? This is an insult to music!_

Nezu hopped nimbly onto a pre-prepared stool, raised himself to a proper height, then lightly tapped his baton on the podium. Everyone immediately went quiet.

"Welcome, one and all, to this most joyous affair," he proclaimed. "For you see, this is a celebration-of life, laughter, and most importantly, love." He looked up-right at their box. "With that said, itt is my great honor to premier this work tonight. May I present: Foil For Me."

 _I'll kill him!_

The piece began with a soft, tranquil melody, interspersed by the delicate interplay of flute and clarinet. Maybe Nezu was just messing with him, and this would be the quiet night out he was hoping for.

Then a spritely piccolo solo cut through the stillness, kicking off a disjointed cascade of call and response that quickly devolved into anarchy.

 _Of course... the little bastard was toying with me._

Over and over, lyric reprise gave way to erratic freeform. Aizawa wanted to leave, but Emi was having a blast. She gasped and giggled at every comedic turn, chattering in his ear like machine gun fire. On top of that, his head was pounding, his ears were ringing, and his boxers were starting to chafe. Things couldn't possibly get any worse.

Until they did. A marching band burst through the doors, followed closely by a troupe of clowns, acrobats, and various animals.

"Ooh, lookit them all, Shouta! Isn't this great?!" she bounced up and down, unable to contain her excitement. "Oh! Oh! Is that a TIGER?!"

"Mmph..." Aizawa mumbled through crossed arms.

As the two ensembles launched into a rousing circus march, Nezu encouraged the audience to clap along. They responded with gusto.

"Come on, Shouta! This is no time to be a party pooper!" Emi shook him hard, lolling his head back and forth. "We have to join in!"

"Ugh..." Aizawa followed suit with jerky, spastic motions. Emi didn't seem to care; she only smiled and laughed. He smiled back a little in spite of himself. She really was beautiful. He couldn't deny that.

With a triumphant crescendo-and a last word from the piccolo-it was over. The standing ovation that followed was loud enough to shake the rafters. Emi leaned over the balustrade and whistled through her fingers. The little principal waved in their general direction, bowed to the audience, then motioned for the orchestra to follow suit.

When at last the din subsided, the lights signaled intermission. Aizawa just sat there, hands on his chin, completely flabbergasted. Nezu had broken just about every musical rule there was, yet did so in a way that only a mad genius could. And the message was crystal clear: sooner or later, order would give way to chaos. Emi would win.

Aizawa shook his head angrily. No! Never! This was just a diversion, nothing more. Sooner or later (gods, let it be sooner!) this misguided fling would end.

"Helloooo," A couple light raps on the back of his skull. "Earth to Shouta."

"Huh?"

"It's intermission, silly. Let's stretch our legs a little!"

"Don't wanna."

"But Shoutaaa" Emi pouted. "I can't go out there by myself."

"Sure you can. I believe in you."

"Ha! Good one!" she gave him a thumbs up. "But it'd be even funnier if you came with me!"

Aizawa growled through clenched teeth. He racked his brain for an excuse, desperate for a way out. Finding none, he stood up, rolled his eyes, and held out his hand. Emi took it with a gleeful squeak. Together, they ventured forth into the chattering, babbling crowd.

"See? That wasn't so bad!"

Aizawa sat down hard in his chair. "Hmph. Speak for yourself."

She plopped down in his lap. "Aw, poor baby. What can I do to make it better?"

"Turn back time?"

"No..." her lips curled into a sensuous grin. "But I can make time stand still."

"What the hell are you talking ab-" he shivered as her hand darted between his legs. "Here?! Someone will see!"

"I know," she purred, slipping down to kneel at his feet. His breathing came in short, quick bursts as she toyed with his pants zipper, just as the light faded away. "But what's life without a little... danger?"


	6. Chapter 6

[Author's note: I apologize for the long delays of late. These past few months have been a whirlwind of transition, as I've moved to a new city and began grad studies in earnest. I will, however, do what I can to move this story along. Thanks for your patience and understanding, and enjoy the chapter!]

Emi stood outside the men's room door, tapping her foot and checking her watch.

"Come on out, Shouta."

She rocked back and forth, anxiously twiddling her thumbs. A few people gave her weird looks, but she didn't notice. Anticipation blocked everything out.

"You can't stay there forever, you know."

"Watch me." His sullen voice echoed through the doorway.

She grunted in consternation. "Don't be like that. I want to see how it looks."

"No."

She pursed her lips. "Do I have to come in there and get you?"

A long pause. "...you wouldn't."

"I would so." Emi said. "And I'll sing, too."

"What."

In response, she played a few bars of music on her phone, at high enough volume to earn her some nasty glares.

She peeked her head in through the door, wrinkling her nose for a moment at the stiff odor from within. "Last chance! What's it gonna be?"

Nothing. Only the constant murmur of passersby.

"All right. You asked for it!" With a deep, exaggerated breath, Emi pushed open the door and marched her way in. "Ohhhhh, I know the song that gets on everybody's ner-"

"GAAAAAH!" Aizawa burst through the stall door and made a beeline for the exit, tugging at his hat as he ran. He got all of a few steps before his legs suddenly gave way and the ground rose up to meet him. He tucked into a roll, sprang to his feet, and glared.

Emi just stood there and laughed, twirling a long strand of toilet paper around her finger. "That was quite a trip. I give you a seven out of ten."

"Why you-" Aizawa muttered a string of unintelligible curses. "Seven?!"

She shrugged. "You didn't smile."

"I didn't-!" he exhaled slowly. "Fine. You win. Can I take this stupid hat off now?"

"No, you look cute!"

"I look ridiculous."

"Ridiculously cute."

"But it doesn't even fit!" he struggled with the plastic band, but it wouldn't budge. "See?"

"It's a beanie, silly! That's how it's supposed to be!"

Aizawa stared at his feet. "I wanna go home."

"Ah, but home is where the heart is," Emi skipped across the intervening space and wrapped her arms around him. "And mine is riiiiiiight here."

"Ugh..." Aizawa relented, cheeks red hot. "Fine. But I'm still not getting the face paint."

"Awww!" Emi pouted. "You're no fun!"

He flashed her a wry grin. "I aim to please."

She seized his arm and dragged him down the boardwalk, humming a merry tune. If this didn't make him relax, nothing would. She chuckled to herself. Please. Was there any doubt? They didn't call her the smiling hero for nothing.

There was a slight chill in the air, but everyone was happy and lively all the same. Problems, stresses...those were out there. This... the food, the music, the colors, the thrills-this was all that mattered right now.

The buildings were disjointed by design, a mix of precarious angles and bizarre materials (how did they even BUILD a house out of cotton candy?). All were splattered from top to bottom with garish, brightly colored paints. Aizawa groaned and clenched his teeth. It was as if someone had walked into Emi's head, plucked out her thoughts, and shot them out of a cannon.

She stopped without warning, nearly whipping Aizawa face-first into a rock skinned heteromorph. "Oooooooh! Lookit, Shouta! Isn't it great?"

He followed her finger to a towering structure of metal wire, wooden track, and...was that papier mache? Then, with a blank stare, he said, "No."

"What's the matter" she wiggled her eyebrows. "Chicken?"

"Just sensible." He crossed his arms. "I get enough bumps and bruises in the field."

"Hmph. Coward." Emi said, hands on hips.

"Think what you want. I'm not going."

"Oh, really?" she slipped an arm around his waist, one hand trailing down his thigh. "I wonder..."

"Ghk!" Aizawa pulled away, cheeks flaming red. "Have you no shame?"

"I know what I want," she purred. "And I'm going to get it." she wrapped a finger around his belt. "One way or another."

"Fine! I'll go on your stupid deathtrap! Happy?"

Aizawa muttered obscenities under his breath as he joined her at the back of the long, winding line for the ride.

"Ugh..." he groaned. "Should've brought my sleeping bag."

"Sleep?!" she spread her arms out wide. "We're in the craziest, zaniest, kookiest, most insane in the membrane amusement park ever, soon to dive headlong into the most daring, dangerous, death-defying ride ever! How can you possibly talk about sleep?" She was grinning like a madwoman by the end, barely a centimeter away.

Aizawa gulped. He could get lost in those whirlpool eyes of hers. So intense, so focused, so...

"Mmph!" A kiss, short and powerful. He pulled away, gasping for air. "You could at least warn me first!"

"And give away the ending?" She clasped her cheeks, mouth agape. "It's like you don't know me at all!"

"I know too much already." He mumbled.

"HAHAHAHA!" she bent double, pounding her thigh. A few others in the line stared at her with a mix of confusion and annoyance. "I just love, love, LOVE your retorts!" she said, emphasizing each repetition with an elbow jab.

Aizawa growled and rolled his eyes. Thankfully, the next forward surge put them a few spaces shy of the turnstiles. He stared at the ground and massaged his temples. This wasn't risk aversion. Not exactly. It was the lack of control that unnerved him. Villains could be dodged, countered, neutralized. Here, he was strapped in, unable to move or react beyond gripping the bars a little tighter. If something happened, he would be helpless save for a bit of useless flailing before the ground turned him into hamburger. As if on cue, his heart kicked up a few notches, sweat pouring down his face.

 _Come on, dammit! You're better than this!_

"Shouta?" Emi waved a hand in front of his face. "Are you all right?"

"Huh? Oh, uh..." his face reddened at the sight of a sour faced park employee. "Yeah. Sorry." he muttered. The employee just mumbled something derogatory and motioned them forward.

"Great!" she smiled wickedly. "Hold onto your hat!"

*Yeah, right...*

Emi practically yanked his arm out to get to the frontmost car, where she half pushed, half threw him into an open seat.

As the employee came by to secure their safety bars, Aizawa glared daggers at the smiling hero. "If I die here, you're taking 1-A."

She threw her head back, hair flailing with her peals of laughter. "Please," she snorted. "You're too spiteful to die."

Clack-clack-clack-clack. They inched their way up the hill. Aizawa didn't notice.

"Heh. Heheh." His mouth curled into a partial smile. "That's actually not ba-aaaaAAAH!"

Clattering wheels became a thundering roar as they flew down the slope at breakneck speed. He gripped the bars hard; blood pulsed, muscles constricted, and pupils dilated. In short, he was terrified.

But Emi...she was having a blast. Arms held aloft, she cheered and hollered for all she was worth. Her hair whipped back and forth, tangling with his own and striking him in the face. On the surface, he was annoyed. Maybe even frustrated. Beneath that, he felt... good.

"Wooooo!" Emi bounced up and down, smiling like a loon. "Isn't this GREAT?!"

Aizawa stared back, trying vainly to clear his field of vision. He fired off a retort, but his words were swept away by the onrushing air. Emi was unperturbed. She whipped out her phone and took a picture. Aizawa winced at the flash, but said nothing. She was having way too much fun, and...he didn't want to ruin it. Not this time.

"OOOOH!" she shrieked. "This is the best part!"

"What are y-" his words dissolved at the imposing sight before them: several interconnected loop-de-loops, each slightly larger than the last. He sucked in a breath and braced for the inevitable.

"Here we goooooooooooooooo!"

The car shot into the first loop like a cannonball, going up and inverting. Emi laughed and threw her arms wide. Aizawa held on for dear life. Blood rushed to his head as they turned upside down, over and over again. Nonsense. Pure nonsense. Why would anyone do this on purpose?

The tail end of the corkscrew spat them out fast, down a long straight-away that was loaded with...party poppers?

POP! POP! POPOPOPOPOPOPOPOP!

Each burst of noise showered them with confetti, until-when the car braked to a long, squealing stop-they were covered from head to toe in the stuff.

"WOO!" Emi stood up and flung some confetti around. "That was amazing!"

"That's a funny way of saying 'dreadful.'"

"Ohhh c'mon!' she playfully ruffled his hair. "You loved it!"

"Nope."

"Yup!" she nodded, smiling boldly. "Know why?"

He rolled his eyes. "My bubbly disposition?"

She snickered. "Good one! But no." Leaning in conspiratorially, she whispered. "Because...you're it!"

Aizawa stared dumbfounded as she ran pell-mell away from him and disappeared from view.

"Goddammit..." he stretched and loosened his muscles, then bolted off in pursuit.

This was going to be tricky, but he'd dealt with far worse. It would be over soon.

Or, so he thought. The first corner took him into a veritable human wall, a tightly packed mass of excited park-goers.

"Shit..." he skidded to a stop, scanned the area, and cursed. For above the joyous throngs, he could see a riotous patchwork of parade floats. They were all shapes and sizes, mostly characters he didn't recognize-except for All Might. Even now, some months after his retirement, people still revered the former #1 hero. "Figures..." he grumbled. "Now...where the hell did-"

"Yoo-hoooooo! Over heeeere!"

Aizawa blanched. She was in the parade, marching along as if nothing was wrong. And for all intents and purposes, it wasn't. People barely noticed. If anything, they were more rambunctious than ever.

He ducked and dodged his way through the onlookers, muttering apologies as he went. They'd thank him later.

Clearing the outermost line, he readied himself for a sprint-only to be buffeted to and fro by a whirling horde of costumed dancers. "Urg! Emi, you lunatic! Get back here!"

He heard more than saw the raspberry, but he knew she was close. When the next dancer came, he went along for the ride. She seemed oddly eager for audience participation, flashing a smile before spinning him forward. Like a human pinball, he went from one to the next, eyes locked on Emi's bright green hair, until one final push sent him staggering into a wall. A very giggly, exuberant wall. "Sorry, I-mmph!"

Lips pressed against his, and all thoughts evaporated. Cheers and whistles filled his ears.

When they finally parted, Emi was grinning like a schoolgirl. "About time, slowpoke!"

"You realize..." he paused for breath. "How reckless that was."

"Silly Shouta," she patted his head. "I'm reck-ful."

Aizawa looked around, studying faces and listening in. Their surprise entrance had everyone buzzing; some even wondered about marriage.

"Oh, we haven't set a date...' Emi said, then caught his eye and winked. "Yet."

The resulting squeals made him bury his head in his hands. He wanted to leave, to be anywhere but here. She was the only reason he hadn't. Damn her.

After a quick selfie with some fans, she skipped her way back and grabbed his hand, leading him through a small break in the crowd and into the shade of a nearby tree.

"I'm sorry, Shouta," she said, eyes downcast. "I know you don't like the spotlight. I just wanted to..."

Gently cupping her cheek, he guided her up to face him. "Emi, it's ok. Really." A soft exhale. "It's not my favorite part of the job, but... heroes are public figures. Role models. About time I learned to accept that."

"Shouta..."

"Besides," he smirked. "You're it."

He took off like a shot, leaving her in the dust.

Emi just stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, then burst out laughing. "HA! Maybe there's hope for him yet."

Aizawa led her on a wild goose chase-or so he would have her believe. In truth, it was a logical ruse. If the map was to be believed, there was a garden at the center of this place-an island of sanity in a sea of madness. The perfect spot for a romantic interlude.

"Quit toying around, slowpoke," she called out from behind him. "My arthritic grandma can run faster than you!"

"Don't worry," he flashed her a wolfish grin. "I'm just getting started."

He took a hard right, shoes scraping against pavement as he made for a narrow alley between shops. Emi wasn't far, howling with glee as she closed the distance.

She was fast, but Aizawa was faster. He made it through the passage just as her arm snaked through, missing him by centimeters. He sprinted headlong down the path, no longer sure of where he was going or why. It didn't matter. He'd get there eventually.

Light, color, sound. A sensory barrage. Aizawa slowed to a jog, then a quick walk, coming to a stop by a row of hastily made, garishly decorated booths. He cursed silently, shaking his head in annoyance. In his haste, he had taken a wrong turn-or several. Now he was well and truly lost.

Fumbling around in his fanny pack (taken at Emi's insistence; he'd get her back someday), he produced a neatly folded copy of the park's map. But before he could so much as glance at it, a flurry of chatter caught his ear. Sighing loudly, he went over to take a look.

One of the booths had drawn a sizable crowd. Loud, obnoxious, and eager. Aiazawa was getting ready to ask what the commotion was when the booth's operator did it for him.

"Welcome, one and all, to this most auspicious moment!" The tall, spindly barker leapt on stage, grinning excitedly. "For you see, this is not just any challenge-no! This, my friends, is the one, the only, Smash For Cash!"

A roar of approval from the onlookers.

With a sickly sweet smile, the man continued. "The rules, as you know, are simple. Whoever smashes the most villains and scores the most points moves onto the next round. And whoever wins the final match gets a chance to..."

"Smash! For! Cash!" they all called back, hooting and hollering.

"That's right!" The barker gave them a thumbs up, then made a show of scanning the crowd. "Now then, who would like to go first?"

Hands shot up like weeds. People cried out eagerly, insistently, hoping to drown out their neighbors. Aizawa groaned, then turned to leave.

"How about you, sir?" The barker extended a beckoning hand. "Care to step up and test your strength?"

"Nah." Aizawa waved a hand. "Maybe next time."

"Oh ho! Is that cowardice I hear?" the barker leaned towards the audience. "What say you all? How about we give him a little motivation?"

Almost as one, the crowd turned to face him. At the barker's cue, they began a steady chant of "Do it! Do it! Do it!" until, at long last, Aizawa had enough.

"Fine," he cracked his knuckles. "Let's get this over with."

"Stupendous! Let's give him a hand, ladies and gentlemen!"

The resulting roar was like a tidal wave that threatened to breach Aizawa's eardrums as he walked purposefully toward the stage. In the distance, a familiar voice called out to him. Emi rushed over, smiling and waving. She stopped at the edge of the crowd, cheering loud enough for several people.

He smiled softly and waved back. The barker motioned him towards a raised platform where a handful of other contestants stood. Some shuffled nervously back and forth, while others flexed and posed. All held what looked to be oversized mallets in their hands. Behind them was a tic-tac-toe style grid, but with huge gaping holes in place of squares.

Aizawa rolled his eyes as a big, burly assistant handed him a mallet.

 _Ugh. Of course._

Apparently satisfied by the crowd's fever pitch excitement, the barker raised his hands for silence. The audience followed his lead.

"All right, everyone! It looks like our contestants are ready and rarin' to go. Now it's time for the countdown!"

Wild applause, raucous cheers.

"5!"

 _This is so stupid._

"4!"

Emi blew him a kiss.

"3!"

His fingers tightened around the mallet's handle.

"2!"

 _She's gonna owe me big for this…._

"1! GO!"

With hissing steam and labored clanking, a bunch of comically dressed "villains" popped in and out of the holes in the floor. Sometimes one, sometimes several. Aizawa strode forward leisurely, allowing the other contestants to jockey for position as they vied for first strike.

He had made it about halfway there when….

WHAM!

He froze in place.

 _No…._

 _WHAM!_

 _Nonononono…_

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

The "villains" transformed, faces distorting into familiar rictus grins.

 _Not again! Please, not again!_

His breathing was short and shallow. Sweat poured down his face onto trembling hands. Every time someone connected with a target, he saw his face on the ground, felt the hard impact as that...monster toyed with him, slammed him against hard concrete over and over again.

WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!

Like hammer on anvil. Implacable, unstoppable, ruthless. Mindless.

Sound blurred into a distant murmur, warped and distorted. He saw Emi staring at him, her eyes filled with concern. She said..something. Gibberish. Then she began pushing and shoving through the crowd, her tone becoming increasingly fearful and urgent. But as she drew closer, his heart pounded louder. His vision swam.

He clutched the mallet tightly to his chest, eyes roving wildy back and forth. Emi was on stage now, tears streaming down her face.

"Back! Back, damn you! I'm not letting you near my students!"

"S-shouta…" she extended a hand, expression pleading. "It's me."

"No!" he shook his head. "You're one of them! You brought that...that thing here!"

"Shouta, please!" she stepped forward, clasping her hands to her chest. "I'm trying to help you!"

"I said GET BACK!" he swung the mallet frantically, awkwardly, stumbling to one side. The audience just laughed, thinking it was part of the show. They did nothing as he teetered dangerously towards the edge.

"Shouta, look ou-"

He fell back, landed hard on his back. Emi ran towards him, shouting at people to give her some space. Before she could get close, he scrambled to his feet and took off at a full sprint, pushing and shoving as he went.

Time just...hung there, suspended, as Aiazwa darted through an alley and disappeared from view. Emi stood there on stage, frozen in place. Then it all came rushing back. Reality hit her like a freight train.

There, amidst the cheers and jeers of an oblivious mob, the smiling hero sank to her knees and wept.


	7. Chapter 7-A

Aizawa huddled beneath the woolen blanket, shivering despite the added warmth. His breathing was rough and ragged as his eyes roved nervously about the room.

Then a pressure, light and gentle, on his shoulder. He flinched, thought about running. But the accompanying voice stilled his movements.

"It's all right, my friend." Toshinori said, smiling warmly and adjusting the blanket. "I'm right here."

Aizawa made to reply, but was interrupted by a high pitched chattering noise from below. Something hit his legs, but it was soft. Barely noticeable. Hesitantly, he looked down. A fluffy gray rabbit met his eyes, tilting its head curiously while sniffing his outstretched hand.

Toshinori chuckled at the sight. "Oh, don't mind Sven. He's just curious." he patted the little creature's head affectionately before turning back to Aizawa. "But if he's making you uncomfortable, I-"

"No!" Aizawa said, perhaps a little sharper than intended. "Er, I mean… he can stay."

The former #1 hero smiled warmly. "Good, because I think he's settled in for the long haul."

"What do y-oh…." Sven had curled up in a tight ball on Aizawa's legs, chest rising and falling softly. "C-cute…"

Toshinori allowed his friend a few uninterrupted moments to pet Sven. He was sometimes jealous at how easily the younger man gained animals' trust, but he understood. Aizawa had a gentleness about him that no amount of gruffness could hide. Yet that shell often belied hidden problems. Aizawa would hide things for months, even years, before anyone noticed that something was wrong. As difficult as this experience must've been, Toshinori was at least glad for the opportunity to address it before too much time had passed.

"Look…" Toshinori said, pausing until he had Aizawa's full attention. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, but...sometimes it helps to talk."

Aizawa could barely hear over the relentless pounding of his heartbeat. He forced himself to focus on the pleasant softness of Sven's fur, to block out the alarm bells ringing in his brain.

Finally, Aizawa forced the words to come. "I..it all happened so fast. One minute I was racing through the park like a goddamn child," Toshinori snickered softly. Aizawa silenced him with a glare."And the next… I'm being pulled on stage, roped into this stupid game show. I wanted to leave, but Emi-damn her-was having so much fun. So I...I played along."

"It sounds like you two are getting serious."

"What? No!" Aizawa scowled. "Just a bit of fun that's...probably run its course."

Toshinori frowned. "You don't mean that."

"I-!" Aizawa sighed. "I don't know. But who cares? It's all over now anyway."

"What makes you say that?"

Tears welled up in Aizawa's eyes. He tried desperately to maintain his composure, but could feel himself breaking. "Because…" his voice cracked. "Nobody wants to play with a broken toy."

Toshinori was there in an instant, wrapping his friend in a warm embrace and rocking him gently back and forth. Aizawa's body shook with great heaving sobs. His vision was blurred with tears; the salt stung his eyelids. But he didn't care. Nothing mattered. Not anymore. He might as well let it go.

"Shouta…" Toshinori laid a hand on Aizawa's shoulder. Sven made a worried keening sound, nuzzling against Aizawa's chest. "You're not broken. You're just human."

"A hero should be better than that. I should be bet-"

"No!" Toshinori snapped. Aizawa stopped, slack jawed. "You think you're the only one who's suffered this way? Of course not!" he felt himself waver, but his gaze held firm. "The things I've seen, the choices I've made...they cling to me like tar. I still have nightmares about my old teacher, for heaven's sake!" his voice cracked at that. "But you know what? It's not a weakness. And I'll be damned before I say otherwise."

The two of them sat there in silence, letting the tears flow fast and free, with Sven nestled comfortably in the middle. Then Toshi tapped Aizawa softly on the shoulder. Red eyed, the younger man faced him.

"She cares a great deal for you." Toshinori sad. "Perhaps more than you realize."

"I...I guess…" Aizawa mumbled.

Toshinori chuckled. "Who do you think called me?"

"Wha…?" Aizawa blinked.

"My heart broke when I heard her voice." Toshinori frowned. "She was so scared, so upset… she blames herself for what happened."

"But that's silly. How could she possibly-"

"Put yourself in her shoes," Toshinori put a hand on his shoulder. "She just got you to loosen up a little. She's ecstatic. Then things fall apart without apparent cause. At that moment, all she knows is that you're there because of her. And in her mind, that makes her responsible for your pain."

"O-oh…." Aizawa hung his head. Toshinori was right, damn him. "I almost hurt her...I was convinced that she was the enemy. I'm such a bastard."

"No, Shouta. You're not." Toshinori ruffled his hair. "Your brain was just lying to you. It's hard to forget something like that… for both of us." he gingerly rubbed his wounded side.

Aizawa nodded. "I...it all came flooding back. I didn't know what to do."

"It's all right." Toshinori said. "There's no way you could've known."

"God… what must Emi think of me now…?" Aizawa shook his head. "She probably wants nothing more to do with me."

Toshinori held up Aizawa's cell phone. "Why don't you take a look at this and say that again?"

Grumbling to himself, Aizawa obliged. His eyes widened. A lone text message shone on the screen:

" _I understand if you hate me. I just want to know that you're safe. Please call. -Emi"_

"Now, if that's not love," Toshinori said. "Then I don't know what is."

"I…" Aizawa paused. "I should talk to her."

Toshinori smiled, warm and radiant. "I'll leave you to it, then. Come along, Sven."

The fat gray rabbit perked up at the sound of his name, bounding off Aizawa's lap to follow his master around the corner and out of sight. A couple deep breaths later, he hit the call button.

Ring…

Ring…

"H-hello?"

"Hi, Emi."


	8. Chapter 7-B

"I'm telling you, Mizuki is cheating on Ren with Ken'Ichi!" Tiger stabbed a finger at the television screen. "It's written all over her face!"

"Not so loud, babe." Mandalay hissed. "Kouta might hear you." she smiled down at the boy, who was sprawled across their laps with a warm blanket laid over his body. "And besides," she leaned in close, "Ren's the one who's cheating. It was clearly telegraphed at the end of last season."

Before Tiger could manage a retort, there was a knock at the door. It was almost imperceptible over the TV, but their training had focused heavily on discrimination between different sounds, both to filter out distractions and to pinpoint potential threats. It had saved them more times than either one could count. Now, their heads turned towards the door as one. They exchanged worried glances. It was too late for guests, but there were plenty of mundane causes that didn't include villains. Still, caution was second nature by this point.

 _[Take Kouta to bed. I'll see who it is.]_

Tiger cocked his head.

 _[I'll call if I need you, ok? I love you.]_

With a nod of understanding, Tiger cradled Kouta in his arms and carried him into his room.

"Who iiis it?" Mandalay called out in a pleasant sing-song, even as she readied herself to strike. If there was an intruder, she could take care of them, or at least hold them long enough for Tiger to assist. The only reply was a soft whimper, along with the telltale hitch of a sob. Mandalay shifted gears in an instant. She bounded across the intervening distance, threw open the door, and gasped. "Emi? What's going on?"

"S-Shino….it's all over!"

Mandalay caught her before she could fall, pulling the smiling hero into a tight embrace. "C'mon, let's get you inside."

 _[Put the kettle on, babe. This is going to be a long night.]_

The smells of honey and lemongrass intertwined, lightening the room with their presence.

"S-smells good…" Emi muttered, holding the cup close to her face. Her breathing was still ragged and uneven, but she could feel herself relaxing. Mandalay always knew how to make a house a home, and Tiger's presence only enhanced that. "Are you two always this perfect together?"

Mandalay chuckled. "Oh, no. We've had our share of disagreements." she smiled wryly at Tiger ,who curtsied with his apron. "It's all about the give and take." she laid a hand on Emi's. "But enough about that. I want to hear about you."

"Well…," Emi traced a finger nervously around the edge of her teacup. "Everything was going so well. Fooling around, enjoying the moment, generally having a blast. I was even starting to think there might be something more."

"What changed?" Mandalay asked.

"I took him to that stupid amusement park, that's what." Emi paused, holding back tears. "I'm such an idiot."

"Emi, you know that's not true." Mandalay said. "And if Eraser doesn't realize that he's going to find out just how far my quirk can reach." she grinned wickedly.

"No!" Emi cried, loud enough for Tiger to poke his head out from the kitchen, mop in one hand. Mandalay dismissed him with a shake of her head. "I-I mean...it wasn't his fault. It was mine."

"Oh Emi…" Mandalay brought her in for a hug.

A few minutes passed before Emi could bring herself to respond. "The day started off well enough. Shouta was being his usual grumpy self, but he came around. And when he did…" she giggled. "It was a thing of beauty. I got him to play tag with me, for crying out loud!"

They shared a brief fit of laughter, rocking back and forth on the plush woolen couch. Mandalay was the first to recover, drying tears of joy from her eyes. "Ahh… I wish you'd recorded that. You know, for science."

Emi snorted. "Even I'm not that mean. And besides…" her expression turned sad. "I'm not sure if either of us wants to remember that day anymore."

"What happened?" Mandalay frowned.

"I was chasing him through the park. He ducked me for a moment, the sneak. But not for long. When I found him, he'd been roped into some kind of game show, Smash for Cash?"

"Oh dear. That doesn't sound good."

"Yes, but… not for the reason you'd think." Emi sighed. "He wasn't pleased, to be sure, but he seemed willing to go through with it for my sake." her cheeks flushed a little. "But then...something went wrong. When the game started, Shouta... he just…" she took a shuddering breath. "Froze."

"Oh…" Mandalay said. "Oh no."

"Yes…" Emi's voice was wavering now. "And when I tried to help, it only made things worse.. I tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. He took off running and...and..."

Emi collapsed in a mess of tears. Mandalay was there in an instant, holding her close and whispering soothing words.

[ _Ok, babe. I think we could use some backup here._ ]

Tiger was there within moments, wrapping the two women in a great bear hug that lifted them a good several inches off the ground. Emi buried herself in his massive shoulder, crying until she felt like she had no more tears to shed, Mandalay's soft assurances a constant presence in her ears.

"S-sorry about that," Emi nibbled at the edge of a lemon bar. It was excellent-a perfect mix of sweet and tart-but she struggled to enjoy it. Her mind was frayed at the edges, battered by a relentless tide of fear and guilt. Even now, with friends by her side, it was hard not to worry. "I've been trying to be strong, but…"

"There's nothing wrong with asking for help, Emi." Mandalay said. "We all need someone to lean on sometimes."

"Exactly!" Tiger pounded the table, making cups and plates wobble. Mandalay cleared her throat loudly, and his cheeks went red."I mean, reaching out isn't weakness. It's a sign of strength!" he flexed one beefy arm.

Emi giggled in spite of herself. "I suppose that's true." she smashed what was left of her pastry into a ball and began worrying it between her fingers. "It's just… I feel like I'm responsible for his pain. And it hurts."

Mandalay smiled sadly. "You have such a big heart, Emi. But that can get you into trouble sometimes."

"W-what do you mean?" Emi asked.

Mandalay fixed her sharp brown eyes on Emi. "Did you intend to make Aizawa suffer?"

"No, of course not!" Emi's breathing became short and quick, heart pounding as her hands became white knuckled fists. "He never even told me that he was hurting like that!" Her body sagged at the realization. "It's like he never trusted me at all…"

"That simply isn't true." Mandalay said. "Aizawa just… doesn't like to show weakness."

"I...I suppose…" Emi said. "I just wish he'd said something so I could have avoided this whole mess."

"No, Emi" Mandalay shook her head. "You couldn't have."

"What do you mean?" Emi said. "Are you saying I don't care about him?"

"You know that's not it!" Mandalay snapped. She softened at the wounded expression on Emi's face. "Trauma is a deep and binding hurt. It comes back at the worst possible times in the worst possible ways, and it's hard to know what'll rip it open again until it's too late." she put a hand on Emi's cheek, gently guiding the other woman to face her. "What I'm saying is, you did nothing wrong. And neither did he."

"I…" Emi leaned into her friend's touch. "I just want him to be safe. I don't care what happens next."

Mandalay smiled warmly and held out her phone. "Then why don't you tell him yourself?"

"Wha…" Emi's face went from confusion to jubilation in the span of a few seconds as she read the message:

" _Don't worry. Aizawa is here. -Toshi"_

"He….he's ok." She laughed. Hesitantly at first, then more enthusiastically. Finally, she grabbed Mandalay by the hands and pulled her up, spinning her around and around. "He's ok! He's ok!"

Mandalay laughed, glad that her friend had regained something of her old spark. Tiger stood off to the side, his whole body rumbling with barely suppressed mirth.

"But what if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he hates me?" Emi said. "What if...he doesn't laugh at my jokes?"

"I'm sure it won't come to that," Mandalay said. "But if you're worried, you can use my phone."

"Thanks, Shino." Emi said. "You're the best."

Mandalay blushed a little. "I try." she turned to her husband. "Come on, Tiger. Let's leave her to it."

Tiger nodded and, after a quick goodnight, wrapped an arm around Mandalay's waist and led her down the hall.

For a moment, Emi just stared at the screen, heart pounding in her chest. Was this a good idea? Or would it just make things worse? Before she could answer that, the phone rang.

"Eep!" she fumbled with the device, hands slick with nervous sweat, until at last she hit the green call button.

And when she heard his voice again, she smiled.


	9. Chapter 8

Aizawa pulled his binding cloth tight against the chill night air. It was always worse up high, but such was the price of good vantage points. Besides, he had an appointment to keep. It was almost time.

He was so focused on the scene below-people going about their day, heroes on patrol, vehicles passing by-that he almost missed the soft padding footsteps behind him. He whipped his leg around in a roundhouse kick, ready to nail his would-be assailant-and stopped at the sight of Emi's bright green hair.

She smiled weakly. "There's no catching you off guard, is there?"

Aiazawa stepped back, crossed his arms, and glared at her. "What were you thinking? I could have hurt you!"

At that, her expression turned sad. "I…" She turned away, refusing to meet his gaze. "I was afraid…"

"What?" Aizawa reached out, but she flinched away. "Emi, I don't understand."

Slowly, reluctantly, she looked back. Tears streamed down her face. "Be honest, Shouta..." her voice wavered. "Do you hate me?"

Aizawa was there in seconds, taking her in his arms and guiding her gently to the ground. "Emi…" he pulled her in close, letting her cry into his shoulder. "You might have a special knack for getting under my skin," he chuckled to himself. "But I could never hate you."

She laughed faintly in reply. "Hehe…good one..."

He sighed. "Look. The USJ incident was hard on me. On all of us. I had recurring nightmares for months, and even now…" he shuddered. "Point is, I can't anticipate every possible trigger. No one can. So please…" he cupped her cheek in both hands. "Don't blame yourself."

"Then…" her cheeks flushed as she stared into his eyes. They were soft, pleading. Kind. Finally, she put a hand in his. "You still want me?"

"Yes, Emi," he smiled, warm and genuine. If she wasn't already sitting down, her knees would've buckled. "I love you."

"O-oh…" Emi stammered. Her breathing quickened, heart pounding so loud and fast that she could hardly understand his words. Frantically, she scanned the immediate area. Satisfied that they were alone, she drew him in close and whispered. "Take me. Now."

Aizawa kissed her, hard and heavy, pausing just long enough to lay his binding cloth beneath her.

"Such a gentleman." she looped a finger beneath his belt. "But I'm in the mood for a scoundrel."

"That can be arranged," he began tracing a path upward from her calf. She shivered at the touch.

"Ahh," she fiddled with the loops on his belt buckle. "I have never wanted you more than I do right now."

"That's a lot of pressure," he murmured. "I hope I can live up to it."

"I'm sure you'll have no troub-"

The ground rocked beneath their feet, followed by the sounds of panicked screams and wailing sirens.

"Tch…" Aizawa bolted upright and headed for the rooftop.

"Hmph…" Emi stood up in a huff. "Rude."

She wound up Aizawa's binding cloth and tossed it his way. He snatched it out of the air, looped it around his chest, then donned his goggles.

"Do we have to?" Emi stretched and threw a few practice blows. "The villains must be getting the snot beat out of them as we speak."

"Emi…" Aizawa raised an eyebrow, hands on hips.

She held his gaze, made a series of increasingly silly faces, even stood on her head, but he stayed put. "Oh, all right." She pulled a fresh do-rag from her pocket and tied it tight. "Why do you always have to be so damned...responsible?"

"What can I say?" he shrugged. "It's part of the charm." And with that, the underground hero took a flying leap and disappeared from view.

"Oh really?," Emi called out, jogging her way down the fire escape stairs. "That's about as charming as watching paint dry!"

"Then let's find out who's responsible for all this and paint them into a corner!" Aizawa responded from above.

Emi grinned from ear to ear, laughing like mad as she darted through side alleys and slipped past fearful civilians. "So you DO have a sense of humor!"

"Yeah," he landed on an awning in front of her. "I should really get that checked."

They weaved through side streets and back alleys, crossing through foot traffic only when necessary. Everywhere they went, smoke barred the way, choking and obscuring. It became so thick that they had to shield their eyes and hold hands as they moved. Finally, they reached the apparent source-a gleaming skyscraper in the heart of the financial district. The building had a gaping hole where the entrance used to be, the flickering embers snaking to and fro like tongues. As the two heroes skidded to a stop, a trio of silhouettes emerged from the wreckage.

The first was a man of average height and build, sporting a mustache so bushy that Emi briefly wondered if he used it to clean. He wore a brightly colored suit that looked as though it had been stitched together from multiple fabrics and twirled a fat cigar in one hand as he walked. To his left strode a tall and slender man who was decked out in clown makeup. In one hand was a bag filled with all manner of props, and an oversized novelty horn in the other. A short woman in a tyrolean hat took up the right side, twiddling her fingers in agitated motion while she looked to and fro. Upon spotting the intruders, the mustachioed man came to a swift and immediate stop, fast enough that his companions nearly tripped as they overshot him.

"Well, well, well! Things got exciting just as we were exiting! Splendid!" he pointed the cigar at Aizawa. "Eraser! Never took you for a skirt chaser!"

"Now wait just a-"

"And what's this?" he raised a bushy eyebrow at Emi. "Are you Ms. Joke? Or an artichoke?"

Emi giggled. "I'm not sure we've met. But you're clearly a threat." she nodded to Aizawa. "Ready when you are, love."

The underground hero blushed profusely. "Let's just get this over with."

The two of them rushed forward, making a beeline for the man in the middle. Once they closed the distance, it was all over. But the man didn't move. He just stood there with a smile on his face. His companions fanned out to the side, moving to flank the heroes. Just before Aizawa reached the edge of his quirk's effective range, the mustachioed man blew out a big puff of pinkish purple smoke from his cigar.

"Heh." Aizawa picked up the pace, ready to put a quick end to this fight, but when he reached the cloud, he just...sank. It was like putting his head on a pillow that was far too soft. He tried to free himself, but only sank deeper into the morass.

"Nice try, blow fly! There's no gettin' outta that mess!" He snapped his fingers at the other two. "Punchy! Medley! Knock out that knock out so we can skedaddle! I'll make sure this sucker stays stuck!"

Punchy reached into his bag, producing a random assortment of props-rubber ducks, chattering teeth, even an antique bugle-that came to life and rushed towards the smiling hero. At the same time, Medley extended her fingers and played phantom piano. Emi felt the ground shift and buckle beneath her feet in time with the villain's motions.

"Looks like I'm on shaky ground," Emi said, windmilling her arms for balance. "I'd better find some firmer footing-and fast!"

The ground lurched violently, but she was ready for it, launching into a rolling somersault and sprinting towards Punchy.

Stamping his feet in frustration, the villain pointed at Emi. His props obeyed, clattering and bouncing and shuffling their way towards her.

A rusty pair of hedge clippers was the first to arrive, slicing and slashing at her head. She ducked quickly to one side, batting it away as she hopped, skipped, and danced her way through the animate army.

"If you call that a shave," She smiled mischievously as a soft blue light encompassed her body. "You'd better razor standards."

Punchy went from snarling to smiling in an instant, body double over from laughter.

"Snap out of it, numbskull!" Medley cried, sending a rippling wave of force through the space between them. "She's trying to-"

But it was too late. Emi sent Punchy crashing to the ground with a hard right hook, then nimbly sidestepped the rolling tremor.

"I wonder," Emi said, tapping a finger against her chin. Medley glared back, mouth twisted in rage. "Was that your fault, or mine?"

"Quiet, you no-talent hack!" Medley pointed her finger like a gun and "fired" a concussive blast at the smiling hero.

Emi dove to the right, twisting in mid-air to avoid the attack, and rolled to a stop. "You're just full of hot air, aren't you?" she got up, dusted herself off, and cracked her knuckles. "Time to burst your bubble."

Medley spread her arms wide, fingers flexing in anticipation. "Come and get me, you bumbling buffoon!"

"If you insist!" Emi charged.

"Child's play!" Medley grinned viciously as she lined up her shot. But just as the shot went off, Emi changed direction, making a beeline for the villains' mustachioed leader.

"Dammit!" Medley struggled to stand up on wobbly legs. "Flywheel, you've got incoming!"

"Sheesh!" the villain rolled his eyes as he faced his new opponent. "Do I have to do everything around here?"

He ambled forward, put his cigar to his lips, took in a deep breath, and...nothing.

"Wha-?"

Eyes flaring red, Aizawa stepped out from the now rapidly diminishing smoke. He whipped his binding cloth out and caught Flywheel around the torso. The villain struggled and strained, but it was no use.

"Close," Aizawa smirked as he reeled Flywheel in. "But no cigar."

Flywheel's retort was cut off by a swift knockout punch.

Medley stared in shock, glancing nervously as the heroes moved to flank her.

"Looks like your plans just went up in smoke," Emi's body glowed once more. "Why don't you-"

"S-shut up!" Medley tried to hold back her laughter-and the two heroes-but could not keep her focus. When Aizawa's quirk took hold, the villain slumped down in defeat.

Aizawa and Emi watched as the villains were escorted into a waiting paddywagon. Their faces were miserable and downcast, fixed on the ground in front of them. Only Flywheel keep his head held high. As his eyes met Emi's, a goofy grin stole across his face. "You're a riot, sweetheart!" his expression soured as he looked at Aizawa. "But this gloomy Gus is all wrong for you."

"Nah," she squeezed her lover's hand. "I'm right where I want to be."

Flywheel shook his head and laughed, then allowed himself to be guided into the back of the vehicle.

"Now then..." Emi pulled Aizawa close and traced a finger along his cheek. "What am I going to do to you?"

"With."

"You heard me." Emi squeezed his buttocks.

Aizawa squeezed hers in return. "Your place or mine?"

"Why don't we just go with the flow?"

"That sounds dangerous." Aizawa grinned wolfishly. "I hope you know what you're doing."

"Not at all," Emi kissed him, quick and passionate. "But that's what makes it fun."


	10. Chapter 9

Emi smiled ear to ear as she held Aizawa's hand in hers. She still couldn't believe they were still together, that things were going so well. Somehow, some way, she had won the grumpy bastard's heart-and she aimed to keep it. Now, as they leaned into each other's touch, the familiar sight of Purrcolatte came into view.

As she inclined her head that way, Aizawa raised an eyebrow. "Um…. you know it's closed, right?"

Emi replied with a mischievous grin. "Oh, I think Rumiko will make an exception. After all," she kissed his cheek. "You're a pre-furred customer."

"That's still asking a lot at this meow-er." Aizawa smirked, then returned her kiss. "But I suppose there's no reason we can't walk by."

"Trust me," Emi's hand slid down to his waist. "This will be a night to remember."

"I don't know if I should be excited, worried, or…" he gave her a sidelong glance. "Both."

Emi just waggled her eyebrows and stuck out her tongue as she led him inside.

As the door chime announced their entry, Rumiko walked over to meet them. "It seems that you are capable of listening to your elders after all, Aizawa-san, " she said, then offered a respectful bow. She motioned towards a pair of comfy chairs near the back of the cafe. "Make yourselves comfy and I will be there shortly with refreshments."

Aizawa returned the bow, then guided Emi to the proffered seats. No sooner had they sat down than a furry swarm came out to greet them. Most of the usual suspects plus a few newbies, with Nori scowling balefully from the rear. Aizawa wiggled his fingers and whistled softly. Nori met his gaze, blinked once, then slowly sauntered over. Meanwhile, the two kittens from before made a beeline for Emi's legs, zigzagging back and forth as they did. They were joined by several others, including a shy little hairless cat that went slinking around the back.

Emi beckoned them up before scooping up the straggler and giving it a privileged place in the middle of her lap. The other kittens surrounded their hairless companion and settled into a big purring pile. "That's right," she said, gently stroking each one in turn. " There's a place for everyone."

Aizawa smiled softly. He never would have imagined that she had a side like this before they started dating, but in retrospect he probably should have known. Her persona was flashy to be sure, but it required genuine connection to work. Emi was a master at that.

Rumiko emerged from the kitchen, a plate of desserts in hand and a barely concealed smile on her face.

"I know that look," Aizawa said, idly scratching Nori's back. "What are you up to?"

The old woman set down the tray with a shrug. "I have no idea what you're talking about." With a swish of her kimono, she turned away and made her exit.

Aizawa licked his lips. "We're really in for a treat. Rumiko's pastries are world class." He grabbed one from his side of the plate. "Why, I remember when she-" his eyes widened. The pastry fell from his hand.

"What's the matter?" Emi put an arm around his shoulder. "Cat got your tongue?"

Aizawa could only sputter and stammer as he gazed upon the source of his emotional turmoil: a solid gold ring engraved with a smiley face. After what felt like hours, he managed to respond. "Emi, what's this?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "What do you think it is?"

"I think it's an engagement ring," Aizawa squinted at the engraving "Or maybe a crackerjack prize."

"It's the real thing, all right," Emi bonked him on the head. "Real as your head is thick."

Aizawa scoffed. "If this is your idea of flattery, I'd hate to see you get mad."

"I'm already mad," Emi kissed him hard on the lips. Nori gave her a quizzical glance. "Mad about you."

"I…" Aiawa turned away, cheeks flushed crimson. "That is, well…"

Emi ran her fingers through his hair, turning his words into mush. With her free hand, she cupped his chin and guided him gently to her, stopping only when his eyes were locked firmly on hers. "I know I can be a bit of a handful," Aizawa rolled his eyes. "Ok, a lot. But…" she laughed, soft and light. "I think we have something special here. The kind of thing that only comes once in a blue moon… or maybe a pink moon."

"Emi, there's no such thing as a-" she put a finger to his lips.

"You know what I mean," she smiled, cheeks reddened. "These last several months have confirmed what I already know. That you're the only one for me." she took a deep breath. "So the question is…" she took his hands in hers. "Will you marry me? For real?"

"I…" Aizawa met her gaze, words suddenly failing him. So many times, she had proposed in jest, waxing maudlin about a happy, laughter filled future that he was sure was nothing more than a farce-or perhaps a delusion. Now, though, as he took her in, he saw what had-despite all logic-made him fall for her. A reassuring warmth, an earnest devotion to him and to her duty, and an unflappable optimism that could pierce through even his darkest, cloudiest moods and make him feel that maybe, just maybe, things were going to be ok. He exhaled, wiped his brow, and smiled. "If you can put up with me this long, then…" he chuckled. "Why not?"

Emi let out a delighted squeal that sent several of the kittens-and a very disgruntled Nori-scampering away. Beaming through her tears, she pulled Aizawa in for a long and passionate kiss.

A few minutes later, Rumiko came out with a large chocolate cake that had "Congratulations" written in perfect calligraphy on the side. After setting it down, she dabbed her rapidly moistening cheeks with a sleeve.

"Be careful with this one," she inclined her head at Aizawa. "He can be a bit of a handful sometimes."

"Only on days ending in y." Emi said with a wink.

"Hey!" Aizawa scowled. "I'm not that-"

He was interrupted by the sudden warmth of Emi's lips. He put an arm around her waist and pulled her in close. Nori gave him a withering glare from his spot on the floor before sauntering off to bed.

Rumiko watched the two lovers for a few moments more, dimmed the lights, then quietly stepped outside.


	11. Chapter 10

Aizawa fidgeted with his bowtie, scowling at his reflection in the mirror as he did so. It was already an eyesore-now it was just being spiteful.

Toshinori smiled good-naturedly from the back of the room. "What's the matter?" He walked over to stand beside his friend. "You look fine to me."

"I look ridiculous!" Aizawa pulled on the multicolored ends for emphasis. "I never should've agreed to wear this stupid thing."

"Look on the bright side," Toshinori placed a gentle hand on Aizawa's shoulder. "At least she backed down on the suit."

Aizawa shuddered at the memory. A rainbow tuxedo, complete with a smiley boutonniere, giant clown shoes, and a top hat tall enough to make the Mad Hatter blush. "Fair point." he muttered.

"You're welcome, by the way." Toshinori said.

"Yeah, yeah." Aizawa took his hands off the bowtie. He held in a breath—1, 2, 3—only to watch it fall like a wilting flower. He snarled, clenched his hands, and let out a cry of frustration. "Why! Won't! You! Stay!" he slammed the dressing table in time with each word. "If I go out there like this, Emi will—"

"Love you," Toshinori said, taking Aizawa's shaking hands in his own. "Just like she always has."

"I-" Aizawa let his arms drop so that Toshinori could work. A few moments later, the older hero had deftly maneuvered the bowtie into place. "How...how did you…"

"Practice," Toshinori said. "Just like with marriage."

"Shit…" Aizawa sat down and put his face in his hands. "This is really happening, isn't it?"

"It is."

"I've read everything I could on this subject. Magazines, newspapers, academic research, you name it. Yet there's one thing I still don't understand."

Toshinori cocked his head.

Aizawa threw up his arms. "Why me?"

"Don't tell me you're getting cold feet." Toshinori pulled up a nearby chair and sat down, then bid Aizawa to do the same.

"It's not that…" Aizawa flopped into his chair and began twirling a long curl of hair in one finger. "Not exactly."

"What is it, then?" Toshinori said.

"We're just so…different. She's energetic and mischievous, always ready with a quick zinger or a witty retort. That gets on my nerves at times, but…" Aizawa sighed. "People love her. Other heroes, citizens…hell, even that villain with the ridiculous mustache couldn't help but applaud her."

"And that troubles you?"

"Of course not!" Aizawa huffed. "You know how I operate."

"Then what's the big deal?" Toshinori shrugged. "You've made it work so far."

"That's different." Aizawa crossed his arms.

"Different how?"

"Dating is low stakes. You go out, have fun, and go back home. Maybe fool around a little. As long as there's chemistry, differences don't matter. Marriage, though…" Aizawa exhaled, long and slow. "That's when you find out who they really are, who you really are. And…" he shook his head. "I don't think she'll like what she sees."

At first, Toshinori said nothing, betrayed no emotion on his face. Aizawa worried the edge of his lip, wondering if he should try to fill the suddenly awkward silence, when the older hero stood up from his chair.

"You're right," he said. "The man I'm talking to right now doesn't deserve her."

Aizawa raised a finger. "Now wait just a—"

"The tearful phone call in the middle of the night, her voice breaking as she tried to describe what happened, each word laced with fear and uncertainty…that was just an act."

"That's not what I—"

"Or how about the sheer, unbridled joy on her face, the nervous energy in her step as I helped her find a ring that was absolutely, positively perfect for you."

"Goddammit, Toshi, I—"

"No!" Toshinori slammed his hands on the dressing table, sending objects clattering and rolling around. "You will not sit here and tell me that that woman doesn't know you. That she wouldn't do everything in her power to make you the happiest goddamn man on the planet."

Tears flowed down Aizawa's face—first a trickle, then a deluge—before he buried his face in his hands, body shaking with each shuddering breath.

"See?" A smile pierced Toshinori's stern façade. "I knew you felt it.'

"I…" Aizawa managed between sobs. "I just want her to be happy."

"And she will be," Toshinori clapped him on the back. "She has you."

"Yeah…" Aizawa cracked a smirk as he reluctantly met his friend's gaze. "She'll need all the help she can get."

Toshinori laughed, a joyous baritone that—for this one blessed moment—was uninterrupted by coughing fits or difficulty breathing. "There's that dry sense of humor." He turned on his heel and made for the exit. As the door creaked open, he paused. "Oh. I almost forgot," he jerked a thumb towards the far corner of the room. "Emi left you a present."

"A present? What on—" the door closed, and his words crumbled away.

Aizawa rolled his eyes and looked where Toshinori had indicated. There sat a medium sized box—covered in what looked like at least eight different styles of wrapping paper and topped with a massive green and orange bow. "Heh. Ok, Emi. I'll play." He walked over and, with a single precise tug, yanked the bow off. He tossed it aside and lifted the lid. What he saw made him giggle, then chuckle, and finally break into a full-on belly laugh: a tuxedo sleeping bag, perfectly detailed and expertly made. Even the bowtie was an enlarged copy of the one he was wearing. There was a note in the front pocket, written in Emi's trademark scrawl.

 _Take a rest before the rest-of our lives. I'll come get you when it's time._

 _Love,_

 _Emi_

Shaking his head, Aizawa climbed into the sleeping bag. "You know what they say," he said, already feeling a yawn coming on. "The way to a man's heart is through his…." His eyes fluttered—once, then…

He awoke to the sound of organ music. As his eyes fluttered open, he felt himself moving—slowly but surely—along the ground. Things came sharply, suddenly, into focus. His eyes went wide.

The procession had started without him. Or rather, in spite of him. Friends, students, and other well-wishers stood in front of wicker chairs—one half painted gray and black, the other half green and orange—watching him drag along the ground. He craned his neck to look at the altar. On the left were his groomspeople: Best Man Toshinori, Sekijiro, and Nemuri. Hizashi was where he was most comfortable: playing his heart out. The Wild Wild Pussycats stood opposite them, with Shino serving as the maid of honor. Aizawa shook his head. They'd never let him hear the end of this. Right now, though, he had other problems.

He turned his gaze up and to the left. Mortification held him in a vise grip as he noticed what looked to be some kind of…rope. That didn't matter. Emi was radiant. Her dress was a riot of different colors, all based around—and coordinated with—her signature green and orange. Hard as it was for Aizawa to admit, it actually kind of…worked. He growled under his breath. _You're supposed to be mad, dammit!_

"Emi, what the hell?!" he whispered loudly.

She smiled at him, the sort of smile that would've stopped his heart if he weren't so miffed. "Oh good! I was wondering when you'd come to. Did you have a nice nap?"

"I—" he tried to worm his way out of the sleeping bag, but Emi denied his leverage with a quick tug of the rope. "Goddammit woman, are you insane?"

"Patience, love," Emi wagged her finger at him. "I'll get us down the aisle soon enough."

"Now is not the time for bad wordplay!" he snapped.

"Au contrare," she said. "It's the perfect time!" she gasped, an overly dramatic sound. "And would you look at that! We're here!"

Aizawa fidgeted and fussed his way out of the sleeping bag. He stood up and brushed himself off, muttering a litany of curses foul enough to make even Miruko blush. He gave Emi his best withering glare. She beamed in return—a joyous, dazzling expression—and his anger faded.

Nezu stood behind and above them, grinning from ear to ear, clad in a blue and white tux. A bright red flower was tucked in its front pocket. He nodded once to each of them before addressing the crowd. He waxed poetic about star-crossed lovers, attraction between opposites, and a veritable potpourri of other, completely unrelated topics before waving a tiny paw at Present Mic. He gave Nezu a thumbs up before launching into the most enthusiastic, over the top rendition of 'I Don't Want to Miss a Thing' that Aizawa had ever heard.

"Why didn't you just wake me up like a normal person?" Aizawa snapped.

Emi raised an eyebrow.

Aizawa sighed. "Right. Forgot who I was talking to."

"You were pacing around in a circle and muttering to yourself," Emi said. "I figured you could use a nap."

"But—"

"You feel better, right?"

"I…" Aizawa paused, then said in a barely audible voice, "Yeah…"

Emi nodded matter of factly, a self-satisfied smile creasing her painted lips. "That's what I thought."

Before Aizawa could respond, the music came to an end—after Present Mic's trademark flourish—and Nezu resumed his duties.

"Now we come to the part that you've all been waiting for: the exchange of vows."

Aizawa froze. In all the hustle and bustle of getting things ready and putting out fires (real and metaphorical) he had somehow forgotten the most important aspect of them all. He patted himself down, searching every nook and cranny of his tux, but there was nothing to be found. Only a few balls of lint and a receipt from several months back. His mind raced as he tried to think of something, anything, to salvage this situation, but his thoughts slipped through his grasp like sand through an hourglass.

Just as he was starting to panic, Emi slipped a folded piece of paper into his hand.

"Relax, silly! I got you covered."

"But I—"

"Forgot? It's ok," She tapped him on the chest. "I know what's in your heart."

Aizawa turned away. His face felt as hot as a thousand suns. Then Nezu—and everyone else—looked at him.

"Eraser-san?" Nezu cocked his head. "Is everything alright?"

"Y-yeah. Of course," he made a show of unfurling the paper and loudly clearing his throat. "Before I met you, Emi, I was the saddest, loneliest, grumpiest man on the planet. Truly a pitiful sight." He stared at Emi with equal parts annoyance and disbelief. She merely smiled and waited for him to continue. Shaking his head, he went on. "But then, as I walked down the streets in the pouring rain, lost in my own tortured thoughts, wondering how I could possibly find a reason to go on, I—what the hell am I doing?" he folded the paper up and stuffed it into his front pocket. He took Emi by both hands and fixed her with his most intense, penetrating stare. "By any logical measure, we make no damn sense. But here we are anyway. And that…" his breath hitched in his chest. "That's pretty goddamn special. I guess." His cheeks burned. "Hell, you've put up with me for this long. Why not go for broke?"

Emi just stared at him for a moment, face devoid of all emotion. Then she giggled. First a little, then a lot, and finally broke into a full-on belly laugh that spread through the assembled guests like wildfire. Several minutes and many sore stomachs later, Nezu motioned for Emi to speak.

"That was quite a twist! But we haven't tied the knot just yet." A sporadic round of laughter from the crowd. "Shouta," she put a hand on his cheek. "I know it seems like everything I do has a punchline, but my feelings for you are as serious as a heart attack." Aizawa snorted. "You're the tsukkomi to my boke. A true hero and a perfect partner." She paused to wipe her eyes as tears began to fall. "I said I'd bring you a life of never-ending laughter, and I meant every word. So let's get out there and knock 'em dead!"

The crowd cheered, a deafening roar. Nezu waited patiently for them to settle down, then continued with the ceremony. "My, my! You two certainly know how to put on a show! Where was I…" he scratched his chin, mouth screwed up in thought. "Ah yes! The grand finale!" he turned to face Aizawa. "Do you, Aizawa Shouta, take this woman to be your—"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Uh…very well. Do you, E—"

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Let's go!"

Nezu stood there in flabbergasted silence for a good minute or two before regaining his composure enough to speak. "In that case, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the—"

"Wait!"

Toshinori stepped forward. "You forgot the rings!"

"Oh my! We can't have that!" Nezu took the rings and handed one to each of the betrothed. After they placed the ring on each other's fingers, he said, "There! Now, you may—"

Emi grapped Aizawa by the lapels and brought him in for a deep, passionate kiss.

Nezu chuckled to himself, hopped down from his platform, and disappeared into the crowd.


End file.
